Another St. Louisan Escapes, or My Failing New Year's Resolution

One of my new year's resolutions was to read less tabloid trash. (I'm smart enough not to tell anyone when I make my resolutions, but clearly dumb enough to come clean when I break them.) I know, I know. It's hard to believe that such a highbrow literary sort as myself would spend hours poring over ridiculous celebrity gossip on countless blogs...but it's true. We all have our betes noirs (betes noir?) (bete noirs?). That's how I know that the smart but searingly snarky Gawker web site has been pointing its ridiculing finger at a new New York scenester named Derek Blasberg. Their items caught my eye because they mentioned that the 24-year-old is a writer from St. Louis, a grad of Affton High. And let's face it, most people I know never leave St. Louis, let alone pop up on Page Six with some frequency. No real idea what Blasberg's written, but the way Gawker's covering it, it's as if a St. Louisan gaining entree into New York's hip society life is like a turnip getting elected president.

I could totally be all over the New York party scene. You know, were I in New York...and a partier. And, like, popular and stuff.

On a far more interesting note about St. Louis writers may I alert/remind/inform you that 52nd City will be celebrating the publication of its newest issue this upcoming weekend -- and its one year anniversary. Massive congratulations due to Andrea Avery, Thomas Crone and Stefene Russell whose dedication, inspiration and perspiration (figuratively speaking, one hopes) are the reason St. Louis has such a fine lit mag as this. Details below.

Please join 52nd City Magazine as we celebrate our one year anniversary and the release of our latest print issue—STUFF.

STUFF ISSUE RELEASE PARTY AT SNOWFLAKE Saturday, January 13, 2007 2:00-5:00 PM 3156 Cherokee, St. Louis, MO 63118

MYSTERY SACKS OF STUFF Free mystery stacks of stuff to all who attend—while they last

SHOW & TELL STUFF Bring your favorite stuff or interesting collection and share a story...sort of an open mic night show-and-tell for your marbles, matchbooks, and memorabilia

I'm so completely unhip that I have absolutely no idea where or what a Snowflake is. But you should find out. And go.

 

A few random thoughts

1.  I thought it was pretty funny when Chris pointed out that I had written in my last post that Hilary Duff was in The Black Dahlia, rather than Hillary Swank. It might actually have been a casting improvement, so I let it stand. 2. The fact that I got some sweet new Merrell Polartech fancy-ass weatherproof snow boots for Christmas and there has been not a drop of snow seems terribly unfair. Yes, I love irony as much as the next person, but usually only when I'm in control of it or, at the very least, not the victim of it. It's like giving a yo-yo to a child with no hands. Or something.

3. On a positive footwear note, I'm old enough now to believe in sensible footwear and I just replaced my aging workout shoes with a pair of Brooks. Miraculously, it's made a huge difference with my knee pain. I update you on this because I know you've been wondering, "How are Julia's knees?" Now you know.

4. I just took my first Nia class this afternoon at the beautiful Ann Arbor YMCA which may be the nicest YMCA of all time ever. What is Nia, you may ask? I still have no idea. I just know that I'm ADD when it comes to exercise and need as many options as possible, so when my friend Margaret claimed to enjoy a Nia class, I signed up for a one-time intro. Turns out it's a blend of yoga, Aikido, Tai Chi, jazz dance and about 800 other things. It's fun, in as much as anything not involving sitting on one's ass can be classified as such, but MAN it's a tougher workout than I thought. Despite which, I may sign up for a class. It's important for me to have a variety of classes and activities to skip.

5. Here is some Ann Arbor math. Chris and I were at a post-workout visit to Zingerman's, just to make sure that we didn't actually net any total caloric deficit. We were about to order up a couple of particular baked goods when we realized that if we killed 20 minutes, they'd go on sale at 1/2 price after 5 pm. So we ordered up a couple of lattes while we waited. Thus, we spent $7 on coffees so that we could save $5 on buns. That's precisely the kind of economics this town depends on!

6. A quick update on the knitting goods for the little girls in Tibet. It is neither quick nor cheap to get goods to Tibet but the boxes of goodies donated by generous knitters (from St. Louis and Ann Arbor) have both arrived in China and are in my friend Stephanie's possession. She'll be traveling to Tibet to deliver them in short order. Thank you, thank you, all you generous souls for providing a little warmth and the delight of hand-knit goods to these little girls! Yay, knitters!

 

A very movie new year

So our new year's weekend was all about the movies. Chris and I both unplugged completely and drowned ourselves in film (as well as some back episodes of Criminal Minds, with which we have both become obsessed). Our handful of rentals included the affable Mrs. Harris, an HBO film about Jean Harris, who was convicted of shooting Scarsdale Diet author Doctor Herman Tarnower. While not a great film, it's campy fun, with Annette Benning working the title role for all it's worth. It makes her performance in American Beauty look subdued. And Ben Kingsley turning in a first-rate bastard performance. Then we watched The Last Kiss, in which I was again baffled at the notion that doofy Zach Braff could land not one but two babes. Turns out it's based on an Italian flick from 2001, L'Ultimo Bacio. (Bit o' trivia: the guy who directed L'Ultimo Bacio also directed Will Smith's new movie, The Pursuit of Happyness.) It's not a terrible movie, but an okay movie, which brings me to lament the loss of the "okay" rating on the Netflix movie rating scale. I think two stars used to mean "it was okay." I liked having that option. There are a ton of movies that I don't exactly dislike but didn't exactly like either. I mourn the rating system for someone as ambivolent as me. Anyhoo, what was really surprising abou this flick, which is a young-adults-facing-responsibility tale is that the screenplay was written by Paul Haggis, the man who penned Million Dollar Baby and Crash. Talk about a departure.

We also watched The Black Dahlia, "directed" by Brian de Palma and starring Josh "Mole Boy" Hartnett, Scarlett "Lips" Johansson, Aaron "Why am I even in this movie?" Eckhart and Hilary "I may actually be a man" Duff. I put the word directed in quotation marks because my best guess is that de Palma was trapped under something heavy during production, therefore rendered unable to actually direct anyone. The result is an artistic free-for-all, with some actors playing straight, some playing Noir to the point of parody and others just pouting their way through a confusing and largely uninteresting plot. Damn, that was a waste of time. (It was also a waste of Eckhart, who was fantabulous in this year's Thank You for Smoking, in case you were wondering.)

The last rental flick we watched was The Notorious Bettie Page. If you want to see Gretchen Moll naked, here's your chance. Again, it's a perfectly okay film but when you get right down to it, there's just not much story in the story of America's favorite pin-up-girl-turned-bondage-model. I keep wondering if a better-written script could have made it a more enticing tale, but I'm just not sure there's enough substance there. Once again, where's my "okay" button?

Saving the best for last, we finally saw Babel this weekend too. From the same writer who did Amores Perros and 21 Grams (both of which I appreciated). It's a really sophisticated intertwining of three tales, all of which are related to the random shooting of an American tourist by a young Moroccan boy. Really fabulous cast, including Brad Pitt, Cate Blanchett, Gabriel Garcia Bernal (LOVE him!) and a really terrific actress called Adriana Berraza, who may turn in the most riveting performance in a flick filled with them. It's a really jarring and fascinating tale about communication, grief and isolation.

I noticed in the headlines this morning that the Golden Globes nominations came out today, which means the Oscars can't be that far behind. After seeing so many mediocre movies this weekend, I'm eager to have my faith restored by catching some of the ones that are buzzworthy right now. I'd really like to see The Good Shepherd, Notes on a Scandal, Half Nelson, The Departed and, maybe Blood Diamond. Although I think I can only handle one DiCaprio flick per year.

So, you know...there you go.

Happy, Happy New Year!

The fire's already roaring in the fireplace (even though it's a good 40 degrees outside), my cats and I are curled up on the couch. We have a stack of movies for watching and a pot of ropa vieja (my very first attempt at cooking one of my favorite cuban foods) on the stove, bubbling away. Were it not for the crick in my neck that's preventing me from turning my head to the right, it'd be a banner New Year's Eve. Who am I fooling? It's a banner one, anyway. I've got a roof over my head, all my needs are met (if not all my many, many wants) and I get to wake up each day in circumstances drastically better than 99% of the population of this over-crowded planet. If that's not enough to make me grateful going into 2007, then what is?

Plenty, actually, starting with a reflection on the year that's getting ready to take a bow. Chris and I kicked off 2006 -- on Greenwich Mean Time, at least -- outdoors at the intersection of the neighborhood I grew up in in Glasgow, Scotland. We had the streets to ourselves, it seemed, and the minute the bells rang at midnight, the city came alive in all directions. We heard the whooping and hollering of the Hogmanay ceilidh at the nearby church. We had a bird's eye view into the living rooms of the city's gorgeous sandstone tenements. We watched as a few family's pulled open a window to let the old year out and the new one in. We watched a group of children hold hands and dance in a circle, like something out of an old movie. The sky above us lit up in all directions with fireworks and people took to the streets to start first-footing neighbors. I surfed a wave of nostalgia so overwhelming tears streamed down my cheeks. It may be my favorite New Year's memory of all time.

It was an entirely appropriate start to a year that was filled with travel for us, more than probably all our years together cominbed. In February, we went to Istanbul with the Knight-Wallace Fellows and I got to set foot on the Asian side, adding a whole new continent to my repertoire. On our way back home, we spent some time in Amsterdam and then visited my friend Deborah in Milan, Italy. We returned to Glasgow in November, which is the first time I've been back to Scotland twice in one year.

We traveled plenty within the states and its environs. There was a quick weekend in Toronto with pals from the Fellowship. A group of us also went to New York together and while visiting the New York Times and enjoying a lunch hosted by managing editor Jill Abrahmson should probably be the highlight, I confess that I got a bigger thrill attending a taping of The Daily Show and getting a backstage tour beforehand. We managed a second trip back to New York in early summer to attend the Tribeca Film Festival premiere of my friend Matt Tauber's film, The Architect. That was a real treat.

And in the midst of all that craziness, we still managed to steal away for a brief but fantastic respite in one of our favorite places in the world, the rainforest in Puerto Rico.

As if all that movement weren't enough, it's also been a year of big change and transformation for us. When we began the year, I think Chris and I knew that we were itching for something different, that if we didn't make some sort of life changes after the soul-enhancing period of the Fellowship, we'd be wasting some sort of gift. Yet neither of us dreamed that changes would come hard and fast and that if we showed up and were simply willing to turn in the direction the universe pointed us in and put one foot in front of the other, we'd land where we were supposed to.

We never thought that Chris' inkling of an idea and on-a-whim email to Mark Cuban would result in his launching Sharesleuth.com just a few months later. Nor did we really expect that when we asked ourselves where we'd want to do it, the answer would be Ann Arbor. It just was. I've never been able to explain that decision any better to anyone, except to say it felt right. And it continues to.

For me, in terms of my writing, it's been a year of inestimable growth and transformation. I took the Fellowship year off from freelancing, where I'd been resting in my comfort zone. Some friendly cajoling from Graham and Gerard got me to try Terry Lawson's Screenwriting Class at the University of Michigan in the second semester of the Fellowship. It was simultaneously the most frustrating and thrlling experience I've had as a writer in years. I had to step far, far outside that comfort zone of stream-of-conscience nonfiction and start thinking about plot, dialogue, characterization and structure for the first time in over a decade. When I started the class, it seemed a ridiculous notion that I would produce a feature-length first-draft screenplay by the end of the semester. But I did, as tough and time-consuming as it was. It was good enough to earn me a coveted auditing spot in Jim Burnstein's Advanced Screenwriting class this fall, where I learned even more and, more importantly, increased -- not quenched -- my thirst to keep trying my hand at something that simply doesn't come naturally for me. I'm very grateful to both Terry and Jim for giving me the opportunity and being so very generous to me with their time and energy.

My experience in Terry's class gave me the courage to ask the Knight-Wallace foundation to find a writer to coordinate a fiction writing workshop for those in our class who were itching to push ourselves. We landed Valerie Laken, a U of M grad and teacher (now teaching at Carthage College near Minneapolis), who was so lovely and smart and kind to us as we stumbled forward. I remembered why I'd loved writing fiction in high school and college. And I remembered all the fears and insecurities that kept me from pursuing it professionall, that sent me scurrying back to the safety of copywriting and then journalism. It was at Valerie's kind suggestion that I did the toughest and bravest thing I've done all year -- applied to the MFA program at the University of Michigan for one of their Creative Writing slots. I had to push myself hard to come up with three short stories with which to apply and I sweated over things like my academic statement of intent and my personal biography. But the amazing part is that I actually got the application completed! And turned in! ON TIME!

I don't have a lot of regrets about 2006. I've spent the past couple of days scurrying around cleaning the house. It's a Scottish tradition to have your home in tip-top shape for the New Year. I think it has something to do with a messy house foreboding a messy year. Something silly like that. But I still like to do it. And, believe me, if you'd seen the cat hair clouds under the beds in our house, you'd know that I didn't spend nearly enough time cleaning in 2006. And I don't regret a minute of it. I was thinking about this today - I'm a lousy housekeeper. I have good intentions but little follow-through and, when it comes down to it, the truth is I just don't care. I don't care that much how my house looks, and the kind of people I value are not the sort who would judge me on it anyway. I'm sure there were countless times when I passed up a sink full of dishes so I could knit a little, read a little, get a little writing done. And I'm glad.

Although I haven't woken a single day in Ann Arbor and regretted my decision to move here, I do miss terribly the amazing friends I have in St. Louis. People I've known for nearly half my life now, people who are as comfortable to me as...well, insert your own cliche here. I miss being known the way I am in St. Louis, having people who have been along for the ride for years now and know the score. But I'm also enjoying -- far more than I thought I would -- the experience of being discovered again, having people get to know me for the first time and forming new friendships. I'm not a patient person, but I have enough experience and faith and patience to believe I'll have good friends here too before too long. And I can't even begin to express the gratitude, the comfort in knowing that I have my St. Louis pals behind me all the way.

So I say thanks to everyone out there and pass on my wishes for a happy new year. I still can't turn my head to the right and my cats are more interested in warming each other than keeping my toes cosy. My coffee's grown cold while I write this and the fire's backed up a bit so the living room's a bit smokey. In other words, like I said, it's a perfect New Year's Eve.

Ignore this if you hate knitting

Believe it or not, I have readers who are not just non-knitters but who have distinct reactions to knitting. Thus, I provide the warning that this blog entry is about knitting. I know, I know. The last thing in the world anyone needs is another knitting blog. But this isn't one. It's a blog on which I happen to be writing about knitting. HUGE distinction. I'm staring at a bag full of Patons cotton yarn in baby pastels. I bought it from Smiley's Yarn a while back because...hell, I don't know. The same reason I buy yarn most of the time - it as a good deal and it seemed that I needed it. I've only got a handful of balls of each color and I'm trying to cobble together an idea for a simple but not cheesy baby blanket for a friend who's due in February. The problem with so many baby blankets is that they're boring. Or cheesy. Or both. Feel my pain.

My family does a gift exchange at Xmas and this year I drew my new stepmother, Marvin. (Technically, her name's Marilyn but for reasons too long to go into, she's Marvin to me.) I was pretty thrilled because she's an elegant sort of gal and the price guideline for gifts is reasonable so I was able to concoct something from the kind of fancy schmancy yarns I don't get to knit with for myself. I used S. Charles Ritratto, a mohair blend with a metallic strand running through it, and a modified version of the Trellis Scarf from the Spring 2006 Interweave Knits. I wish I'd taken a picture of it, since it turned out pretty well, although in that 20-20 vision of hindsight, I would have liked to have made it a bit longer and a bit wider so that it was almost a shawl.

The cool thing was it was my first lace project on which I got to use my lace blocking wires. I ordered up a set from Knit Picks since I'm in love with lace but in hate with the blocking it requires. Instead of using a zillion pins to shape the item, these long sturdy metal wires are inserted along the seam. They'll probably save me some time in the long run but what I like best is getting a uniform, straight side seam instead of jagged marks where individual pins hold the sides in place.

I also ordered some of Knit Picks' Palette yarn in fall-ish browns and oranges to make a fair isle hat. As a handful of little Tibetan girls can testify, I've been playing with simple fair isle details in hats for a while now. It can be a really fun way to spice up otherwise boring knitting projects. Among the many great books I got with my birthday gift certificates was Louisa Harding's Hats Gloves Scarves. Finally, a book with fantastic simple and elegant basics for the aforementioned items all in one place. It's fast becoming one of my favorite knitting books.

Anyhoo, there's a pattern in there for a full-on fair isle hat, featuring top to bottom patterning. I decided to give it a whirl, as you can see from the results. (Please ignore the stray yarn still visible in this glamour shot.) It's not a bad looking hat, but I have a few thoughts.

One, the Palette yarn is kind of scritchy, but what do you want from affordable wool, right? Two, keeping the colors straight is a chore. A big chore. I knit a lot of this in the car on the way to Indy last week and believe me, juggling six different balls of yarn in the car is no easy task. Three, fair isle requires a lot of finishing. I'll need a lot more practice before the back seam doesn't look like a surgical scar and the pattern lines up properly. Four, I feel like this level of color work is something I wanted to try but now that I have, I'm not exactly chomping at the bit to do more. I love color work as details or accents on simpler items and I think that's what I'll stick with.

Let's see...what's on my knitting horizon? I just bought eight more balls of the Louisa Harding angora I used to make my fingerless gloves. (I would photograph the beautiful gloves but I can't FIND them! ACK!) I got it on eBay at a ridiculously low price - I think I paid $4 a ball and it usually retails for $10-11. I've learned the hard way that angora gets loosy-goosey and loses its shape easily and that it felts, as one magazine said, if you look at it wrong. But I reinforced the cuffs of said missing gloves by weaving some elastic thread on the inside and I'm looking into sources for Rainbow elastic thread which comes in a ton of colors and can be carried through the knitting with the angora for extra stretch in a hat or gloves.

And last but not least, I bought my eight-year-old niece Rebecca some learn-to-knit supplies for Christmas and although I didn't pick the yarn all that wisely for a beginner, it was a special thrill to see her whip up a coaster! Wonderfully imperfect, but the ideal project for her. I'll admit, too, that it was cool to see it inspired Jenn, my 19-year-old niece, to pick up the spare set of needles and give it a whirl. I get such a sense of satisfaction out of making something with my hands and it's really neat to plant that seed with others and see if it takes.

Early morning ramblings

Alistair woke us up at just before six this morning puking on the bedspread. (It's worth clarifying here that Allie is our cat, not some friend or neighbor with appalling manners and a key to our home.) Playing embarrassingly to type, he apparently got curious as to how much food he could fit in his belly. The answer? A startling amount, judging by the aftermath. No matter how much I tossed and turned, I couldn't get back to sleep, which is not a good thing for me. It doesn't mean I'm awake in anything more than the strictest physiological sense of the word. That is, my eyes are open, I'm alert enough to notice if someone tried to run me over with their car (probably), but my brain is mush and my limbs feel like they're suspended in jello. There's nothing worse than feeling sleepy and not being able to sleep.

Sleep doesn't come easily for me. There are few things I envy more than the ability to fall asleep quickly and stay that way. I don't know if I've ever had that ability -  probably as a child - but I can't remember a time when sleep wasn't a problem. Fatigue coupled with insomnia is one of the cruel hallmarks of fibromyalgia. It's very chicken and the egg -- do I have trouble sleeping because of the pain in my neck or is the pain in my neck worse because I have trouble sleeping?

I require a whole bag of tricks to fall asleep at night - a prescription sleep aid, an ice pack for my neck, ear plugs to drown out the sounds that will jolt me awake. And even then, it'll take me a good hour to actually fall asleep. I see people who can close their eyes and drop off into La La Land and I'm absolutely baffled as to how they do it. I know people who can nap for twenty minutes and wake refreshed.

When I close my eyes, every thought in my head comes rushing forward. As I toss and turn to try to get more comfortable, I think about everything - from mistakes I made at my old job to what I'm going to do the next day. My mind stampedes, to borrow a phrase from writer Amy Hempel.

What do normal people do when they go to sleep? What happens when they close their eyes? How on earth do you make yourself achieve that state of relaxation? When I try to do that, I'm just really aware of the act of trying to relax and fall asleep. It's like I can't fool myself.

Sleep, it baffles me.

Just in time...

A quick Christmas post to report that with just 12 minutes left to the day, the sky has opened up and delivered a dusting of fat, chunky snowflakes. Like icy cottonballs, they're floating down and despite the wet ground, courtesy of the rain we've had all day here in Indianapolis, it's starting to stick a bit. I just hope the dropping temperatures complicate our return trip home tomorrow. Chris and I have had a happy few days here with family. I hope all of you have had a safe, healthy and happy holiday!

Tell me what I want, what I really, really want

I love the idea that computers can tell me what to like. It seems logical that based on my existing preferences, a computer program should be able to suggest similar items. It's a major hook in online, shopping, of which I do more than my fair share. It doesn't always work in practice, though. Netflix, for example, promises to recommend movies based on the ratings I've given to movies in the past. And a good 60% of the time, their suggestions are ridiculous. For example, if you rent the last season of Arrested Development, and give it a hearty four stars, the next time you sign on, they'll suggest you add Growing Pains, the DVD to your list. Why? Because they were both on TV! And I LIKE shows that were on television. This is precisely the sort of mathematical and logics genius that kept me out of calculus.

Where it starts to get ridiculous, however, is that, apparently, if you rent a movie that has a gay character in it, then suddenly your recommendations fill up with movies about gay people. Because if you like gay people, you must be interested in watching movies about them. Exclusively. Thus, one of my most recent recommendations was an indie flick called Mysterious Skin, which floated - as Netflix picks are wont to do - to the top of my list and landed in my mailbox last week. Because, apparently, I like unflinchingly brutal and graphic films about pedophelia, teenage gay prostitution and rape. I can see that where they'd get that. My last two rentals, after all, were The Devil Wears Prada and Nacho Libre.

Jesus.

Amazon is always trying to recommend stuff to me too, along those lines. Sometimes I like the recommendations they offer up. I like the idea of knowing what people who like the same authors I do are reading. But sometimes I swear they're like, "That last book had the word 'the' in it, therefore you will love THIS book!" And it's something about elves and computer programming, you know?

Sometimes I feel like these computers don't even know me.

That said, I am having terrific fun with Pandora. The beautiful Kim Porteous introduced me to this website last year. It's like programming your own online radio station. You plug in the names of artists that you like and they offer you up others they deem musically similar. Sometimes it's alarming -- and mildly insulting -- to see what they think you'd like, but you can give each suggestion a thumb's up or thumb's down and help refine their suggestions. I've found some great new music that way and been delighted too when they served up something I love from two decades ago.

Best of all, you can share your radio station with your friends! So while you're at your computer, you can listen to Radio Julia and it's like we're together ALL the time. (Unfortunately, you can't vote on my station, so if they -- or me -- throw in something you don't like, you might be stuck with it.) And then you can start your own radio station and program it to play only songs that are musically similar to Ace of Base's I Saw the Sign. Or, you know, whatever.

 

 

I'm the luckiest woman alive

Right now, my husband is in the kitchen, tossing pots and pans around, preparing a lovely and healthy dinner for us. How great is that? It's so nice when one of us cooks at home because, well, it's just good to know our kitchen works. As I mentioned, last night was the last of my 826michigan workshops for this session. Those crazy kids nearly brought me to tears, presenting me with a lovely little gift and a thank you card. Whose teenagers ARE these? Really thoughtful. I'm surprised at how much I'll miss them over the break but we'll be picking up the session again in mid-January and I'm hoping all of them will be able to attend again. They're just so dedicated and willing to keep working on their pieces. You'd think I could learn something from it.

Judging by all the decorations -- including the twinkly fairy lights hugging all the downtown trees -- Christmas is right around the bend. It's been years since I've put up a tree, although I do drape the poor ficus with a string of white lights and watch the delicate branches bend under the weight of a few little ornaments. It's a pretty sad effort and a far cry from the all-get-out themed Christmas trees I put up the first couple of years Chris and I lived together.

Driving on the highway today, I noticed that someone had decorated a fir tree at the edge of their property. Not a cut one, but just a random tree, one among many, facing the road, glittering with red and silver christmas balls and some tinsel. It was a really lovely sight. Made me think we should all just start decorating trees outside instead of inside. No cutting down trees. No messing with pine needles. And, really, can't your kids just put on a coat and suck it up on Christmas morning to run outside, dust the snow off their presents and haul their booty back indoors?

Floundering

Man. Only a few days left before I face my self-imposed guideline for my MFA application writing samples. (And only a few more past that, really, for the actual Jan 1 deadline.) I'm flexing muscles I haven't used in a while and it's...not...easy.

My advanced screenwriting class finished this week and I wish I could say I turned in a fabulous rewrite. But I didn't. I admit that I had to choose some priorities there and the screenplay fell by the wayside. I'm still humbled and stymied by the process and need more guidance than I care to admit, but I think I'll return to it at some point because I did enjoy having done it. I did enjoy the feeling of breaking through and getting something decent down on paper, no matter how much mental torture and frustration preceded it.

I'm heading out shortly to the last session of the "You've Got to Work It!" workshop I've been facilitating at 826michigan. I wound up with four kids between the ages of 13 and 15 and they've been awesome. They're so eager to learn, so in love with writing and so respectful towards one another in the workshop environment. I've learned a great deal from them, too -- and I'm thrilled to find out that all of them want to continue the workshop after the break. I love, love, love teaching it, so it gives me something to look forward too also.

Not much else going on. What with Chris and I battling a stupid cold for weeks, it seems we haven't been out and about doing much noteworthy lately. I've been slowly getting my rear in gear for the holidays ahead, which includes shopping and card writing and knitting, etc.

I don't often write about my knitting here. I don't know why, exactly, other than the fact that a) would bore the vast majority of my readers, b) I'm hesitant to let the entire world know just how obsessed I am with it and c) I'm too lazy to take photos of projects, which is half the fun. That said, I recently picked up a couple balls of Louisa Harding Kimono yarn, on a whim. I was wooed by the sample project at the yarn store, a pair of fingerless mittens knit up in the gorgeous variagated autumn tones, made with the 80% angora yarn. It was like sticking your hand inside a bunny!

So I shelled out the $11 per ball (I know! I know! I NEVER buy yarn at full price!) and whipped myself up a pair of custom fit fingerless gloves. It took me just under one ball and the result is delicious. I wear them all the time, even around the house (I can type with them on!) and have decided I much prefer angora to my own skin. Make of that what you will.

Catching up, finally

How does this happen? A week goes by and I swear every day I'll find time to write a quick blog posting and I don't...and then it seems impossible to play catch-up on everything. I've been operating from within the cruel fog of a nasty cold for literally weeks now. It seems to ebb and flow, aggravated by travel and interrupted routine, poor eating and sleeping habits and every time I get one day when I feel good, it's followed by two when I'm hacking and sneezing and battling a bitch of a headache that just won't go away. It's the most wonderful time of the year, eh? We were in St. Louis last weekend for a whirlwind 48-hour visit, mostly revolving around Free Candy last Sunday night. We arrived the day after an ice storm had hit the city, closing down businesses and the airport and cutting off power to hundreds of thousands in the area. We had no trouble getting into town on Saturday morning. It was a beautiful day, far colder than it had been in Ann Arbor, but the sky was that kind of clear bright blue you only get in winter and the sun highlighted all the tree limbs coated in ice, like crystal sculptures along the road side.

Beauty aside, there were some real problems in the area. Restaurants were closed because of lack of power and, as of today, there are still people with no electricity. My poor friend Margaret, who lives in the northern St. Louis neighborhood of Pasadena Hills, went five days without any. She bravely camped out for the first few nights in front of her fireplace, waking every few hours to make sure the flames kept going. Her dog Ellie kept her company and she held vigil around the fish tank, which she'd wrapped with a comforter, hoping the avoid a sudden drop in temperature that could cause disaster. In the end, she wound up decamping to a friend's house and lost only one fish in the ordeal.

Chris and I were staying at the Hilton Ballpark downtown, which offers views of the brand new Busch Stadium. (Pricelined cheapo at about 50 clams per night, with newly redone rooms, this is a swank deal.) When we arrive, the lobby was packed with men in camouflage hats and work coats and we thought we'd stumbled upon some kind of hunting convention. Turns out these were angels in disguise, workers from power companies in other areas, shipped in to work day and night to restore power to the city because, you know, Ameren UE sucks. (For some strange reason, apparently power workers like camouflage....)

We wound up on the elevator with one of the workers, engaging in a little chat as fellow guests do. I said something about restoring power to St. Louis looking like a tough job. The guy shrugged and said, "It's nothing compared to Katrina." There you have it, folks. Perspective everywhere. I'm in my cushy hotel room with power, some friends are struggling through days without it, and yet others are still trying to find homes for themselves months and years after other disasters. Talk about a gratitude reminder.

Free Candy went well, despite the fact that I failed to secure one of our guests, another bailed the morning of the show and yet another had a last-minute emergency and didn't make it. You know, it takes a lot of time, effort and expense to haul my cookies to St. Louis for Free Candy and I always get a bit grumbly beforehand and wonder why I'm doing it -- and then we have a great show, and a blast and I get to look out on this sea of friends and touch base (however briefly) with people who matter to me and I remember why. Lucky me.

If you didn't make it to the show, you missed what may have been the world's first instance of "tubaboxing." Our theme song was performed by former guest Matt Brinkman on tuba and Brian "DJ Play" Marston on beatbox. And, in another all-time first, we allowed someone to tape part of a Free Candy, albeit with a little digital cam. The result has wound up on You Tube, of all places and while perhaps not musically sound, it is obviously extremely culturally significant.

Our show sponsor was the fabulous small local company Big Small Town Designs. They make very cool, often very funny greeting cards featuring local photography. I snagged some Xmas cards for mailing out this year alongside the PC ones I got at Oxfam in Britain last month. Check out their website if you're in the market!

 

 

I might have the greatest life ever

It's raining outside and as the rain falls it's taking the temperature with it. Gone are the low sixties we've marveled at the last few days which is, frankly, fine by me. It's almost December after all -- how much global warming can one be expected to take and still be able to sleep at night? Instead, I just gave myself an hour to sit by a roaring fire, knitting away at a hat for charity while listening to a streaming broadcast of last week's This American Life.

There's plenty to do...and I'll get to it all eventually. But right now? Pretty great.

Look out, St. Louis

I forgot to mention a couple of things in my last post. Yes, I know. Hard to believe I could top that. First, while you've been waiting all year, stuffing your spare change away in anticipation of blowing it all at the Urban Knitter's booth at the Women's Support and Community Center Holiday Boutique...the sad news is it's not happening this year. Fear not, however, as the faithful Urban Knitters will not be deterred! This weekend, you'll be able to pick up handmade holiday gifts at a special sale table at Hartford Coffee Company. As usual, all items are donated by local knitters with 100% of the purchase price going to WSCS, which works in our community to treat and prevent domestic violence and sexual assault.

WHAT: Urban Knitters Holiday Sale

WHERE: Hartford Coffee Company, Hartford & Roger, 314.771.JAVA

WHEN: Saturday, Dec. 2, 9:30 am to 1 pm and Sunday, Dec. 3, 6:30 pm to 8:30 pm

Plus, it's not too late to donate items. We can use all the goods we can get! Just email our fearless organizer, November, for more information!

As if that weren't reason enough to come down to Hartford, Amanda & I will be hosting the last Free Candy of the calendar year Sunday night. Amanda sent out an email promising the following so, you know, it must be true:

Free Candy, with Amanda & Julia

Sunday, December 3 @ 7 pm

Hartford Coffee Company, 3974 Hartford (@ Roger)

Free, maturish audience only. 314-772-5947, amanda@freecandy.net

  

For the last show of 2006, St. Louis’ #1 live, non-broadcast, coffeeshop talk show pulls out all the stops (as if we had stops before!), including but not limited to:

  

*Much merriment from co-hosts Amanda Doyle & Julia Smillie

*Insightful, um, insight from our fabulous guests

*The first-ever Free Candy Runway Fashion Show

*Tasteful, toe-taping tunes

*Local holiday shopping opportunity, with goods from Urban Knitters and this month's sponsor, Big Small Town Designs (Don’t buy your Christmas cards ‘til you’ve seen these!)

What's that? It's STILL not enough excitement for you? Sure, you know Thomas Crone as local scribe, one of the hard-working and inspired souls behind 52nd City, erstwhile DJ -- but did you know the cat's a natch with a camera? You'll definitely want to show up early for Free Candy as Hartford debuts a showing of his photography Sunday, Dec. 3 from 5-7 pm.  

 

See you at, well, all of it!

A few random thoughts

I'm supposed to be, at this very minute, reading the screenplay for Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind for tonight's advanced screenwriting class. But first I thought I'd clear out some of the clutter preoccupying my mind. 1. I'm thoroughly enjoying Rupert Everett's book, Red Carpets. He's a truly fine writer and it's so much more than your standard autobiography, providing insider glimpses into the world of theater and celebrity, anecdotes about strange acquaintances in a truly remarkable lifetime, and setting it all within historical contest - a childhood spent with the end of the Empire looming large, coming-of-age in the underground gay bars of London, rebelling as a teen in Paris keeping company with transgendered hookers. It would be the finest form of gossip memoir - namechecking everyone (so far) from Ian McKellan to Andy Warhol to Bob Geldof - were it not elevated by Everett's literary prowess, sly sense of humor and heartachingly keen penchant for detail.

2. I've always been a bit self-conscious here in Ann Arbor, noticing that there don't seem to be any fat people here. I discovered this weekend that they're all at the Meijer in Scio Township where, I can only guess, there are special secret discounts if you weigh in at over 300 pounds.

3. No matter how many times I try to figure out how this story happened, I can't. I can barely fit my hand or, say, a cat behind any of our bookcases, let alone a relative. Believe me, I've tried.

And that said, it's obviously time I return to doing something productive.

Happy Thanksgiving!

I'm sneaking my "holiday" wishes in just under the wire here, but I wanted to make sure to acknowledge this important day of giving thanks. I particularly appreciate Thanksgiving, because it basically means I get to be ungrateful for the next 364 days. In a row! Now, that's worth celebrating! Actually, Thanksgiving isn't a particularly big deal for me. Being from Scotland, we didn't celebrate it for the first decade of my life -- it's more of a touchy subject in the British Isles, that whole "colonies" issue -- so I don't have any sentimental attachment to it. For the past several years, Chris has always had to work the day after Thanksgiving, so we couldn't go anywhere to be with family. Thus, we developed our own sort of non-Thanksgiving tradition, often gathering with other holiday orphans and heading out for Indian food. (We know, the wrong sort of Indians, but it's the thought that counts, right?) In keeping with that tradition, we went out with our friends Fara and Paul for a nice evening meal, then came back here and chatted and laughed for a good two hours, in a warm house with music playing and a few candles for ambience.

This sort of thing has become become our anti-holiday precursor to the holidays. No rushing about. No food to prepare, no guests to entertain, no pressure or expectations. No travel, no exhaustion and, usually, no overeating. (Or, not much overeating.) It's not a surprise, then, that Thanksgiving has actually become one of our favorite holidays.

When you try very consciously to live your everyday life in a place of gratitude, the idea of one day dedicated to pausing to count your blessings seems...woefully inadequate. How meaningful is it if I say I'm grateful because Hallmark and Butterball say I should be? That said, a little nudge towards gratitude can't hurt, right? After all, Chris and I have both been feeling sick ever since we got back from Scotland and I've been feeling under some academic/career/life pressure -- it's a perfect time for me to feel beautifully sorry for myself.

However, I woke up this morning at a ridiculously early hour, exhausted but unable to go back to sleep, feeling generally blechy and, at the same time, filled with this indescribable sense of gratitude. As I padded my way to the kitchen to make a pot of what turned out to be truly lousy coffee, a thought struck me so absolutely clearly. It was this: all my needs are met.

And it's true. All my needs are met today. I tend to forget that. The problems I have are luxury problems. That doesn't mean they're not real or challenging to me, just that I need to keep them in perspective. I have a roof over my head. Plenty of food in my pantry. I have more things and stuff than a person needs. I have an education and freedom and opportunity stretched in front of me. I have indoor plumbing, for God's sake. I wish I could live in a place, all the time, when I always remember so clearly and strongly how fortunate I am for my place in the world. If I did, I'd probably give Mother Theresa a run for her money. Unfortunately, I also have a healthy ego, a tremendous capacity for self-pity and self-absorption and it's all quite, quite understandable given the world I live in.

I'm just saying that this morning, I padded back to bed with a mug of hot coffee and crawled under the covers, next to my sleeping husband. I had a good book in my lap, two kitties curled up on the bed and a day stretched in front of me with little or no obligation. In other words, it was one of those moments where it was plain to see that, yes, all my needs really are met.

Now comes the tricky part: let's see if I remember it tomorrow.

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