Somewhere between Miami and Argentina

Transcribed from my travel journal It’s just after ten at night and it feels like it’s about three in the morning. We’re more than twelve hours into our sojourn to Argentina and it’s been interesting, to say the least. After leaving the Wallace House by bus at around 9 am, we boarded a flight from Detroit to Miami. For the most part, everything went swimmingly – until we touched down at Miami International Airport.

We were informed of a “security event” that had us waiting before heading towards our gate and, after ten or so minutes, those of us with cell phones downloaded the CNN news to discover that the airport was the top story of the moment. A Federal Marshall had shot and killed a man who, apparently, claimed he had a bomb in his bag.

It turns out – as of this writing – that the details are a tad different. We learned later that the man was, apparently, a manic depressive who hadn’t taken his meds. He became agitated on the flight, running down the aisle of the plane and deplaning, declaring he had a bomb in his back pack and was pursued by Federal Air Marshalls. They apparently demanded that he stop and get on the ground, which he did. Then, the story goes, he reached into his back pack – at which point, he was shot and killed. More details – and, perhaps, a corresponding lawsuit – will follow, no doubt. We may perhaps learn whether he was a dangerous man or just a sick man, or both. But the tarmac was swamped with emergency vehicles and as we taxied past the scene, there was little to see other than a circle of vehicles and myriad flashing lights.

The incident took place in terminal D, at gate 42. Our flight was scheduled to arrive at gate D 44. Thus, we were diverted to terminal C, just the first of many stops on our multi-terminal tour. I should note that we were originally scheduled for a lengthy five-hour layover in Miami, complete with threats of a seminar that never materialized. By the time our plane reached our makeshift destination, an hour of that time had already passed.

We disembarked and wandered off to locate the new gate for our 8:40 flight to Argentina. Like a bunch of disoriented (and, mostly, hungry) lemmings, we followed one another, winding our way through C, back over to D to find our gate. Satisfied we knew where we were going to end up, we headed to a little cafeteria-style joint serving up some fairly tasty Cuban fare – pork in various forms, baked chicken, ropa vieja, rice, beans, plantains, etc.

It was good grub, but it required us to go outside of the security zone to dine, so we had to line up again and remove our shoes like good little soldiers. However, once we were inside the D terminal, the screens informed us that our gate had changed and we were supposed to be at E 25. Now, despite the proximity of these two letters in the alphabet, traveling from one terminal to the other involves some sort of little train contraption and not a little footwork.

We arrived at gate E25 – an odd downstairs space owing more to a Greyhound station than a major metropolitan airport – and settled in for a moment only to learn that our gate had changed again. This time, we were to relocate all the way over to A12. Now, dear reader, while I know that detail is the stuff of truly great writing, no one here is making that claim and you likely know way too much about our travels already. But here’s my real point: it sucked. A lot.

And now we are in the air, after our flight took off about an hour late. It should take us about 8-1/2 hours to get to Buenos Aires, which means that – with the two hour time change – we’ll be arriving at around 8 in the morning. The lucky ones among us will be able to catch some shut eye on the plane, something I’ve never been able to do. And all of us will be taken directly from the airport to our first seminar of the week – on Argentine history, I believe. I pity the poor speaker who has an audience composed of our motley crew, exhausted, mildly jet-lagged and, likely, in need of bathing.

Apparently, after that seminar is over, it will be time to check into our hotel and we can do so then head out to sample Eisendrath’s favorite BA restaurant – or stay at the hotel and nap. We leave from the hotel for our next seminar at four. Should make for an interesting day.

We’ve been told that it’s the Argentine way that our plans will change frequently. It seems they’ve changed so much, in fact, that we haven’t yet seen a schedule for the week. So I have no real sense of how we’ll spend our time, other than knowing that the fellows have the vast majority of each day scheduled to the hilt. And if we don’t know what is scheduled for the Fellows, then how can the spouses plan what to skip out on to go shopping? These are our dilemmas. Hard life, really.

My prediction for the week: lots of beef.

Time flies

I keep waiting for time to slow down so that I’ll have time to update my blog, but first it’s one thing, then another and whole weeks have passed. Time is moving so quickly here it’s starting to scare me. This week, we had the last of our presentations and fellow-prepared dinners. Tuesday was a very lengthy day of presentations. I missed the 4 o’clock one as I’d been off at a local elementary school working one-on-one with some fifth graders on their personal narrative essays for an 826 anthology. It was a pretty neat experience and I was surprised at how varied the children were in their levels of writing and their interest in creating stories through plot and narrative.

We then had three Fellow presentations back at Wallace House, as a computer glitch had caused the Titheringtons to delay their presentation from the week before. Thus, in rapid succession, we learned about the lives of Vanessa, Jamie and then Steve and Sarah. If I haven’t mentioned before how terribly fond I am of Vanessa, consider it stated here. (Any more and I’ll start blushing.) She’s terribly beautiful in every sense of the word and wears her passion and romanticism – for writing and Cuba and all the things she loves deeply – bravely on her sleeve. My favorite thing about Vanessa is that, when she’s talking to someone, she leans into them and listens completely and intently to them. Only in observing this in her, and the inherent kindness and generosity she brings to the mere act of listening, did I realize what a rarity it is.

Her presentation wove her story from her native Puerto Rico – a place near and dear to my own heart – to her last post, spending four years in Cuba working for the Florida Sun-Sentinel. I don’t suppose I can say I’m truly surprised that it turns out that she’s a talented photographer too, with a keen sense of composition and style. It’s as though she pays the same close attention to her subjects, leaning in to them, eschewing frills and capturing images that somehow express her own genuineness.

Jamie Butters was next, detailing his own journey from Chris’ home state of Iowa to his current position as the auto writer for the Detroit Free Press. I kind of expected to hear more about his career focus and, while there was plenty of that, there was also a really delightful focus on family – the members whose names (and attributes) influenced the monikers attached to his three young daughters.

Chris and I were commenting not too long ago that it’s both interesting and telling to see what people choose to focus on in their presentations. What it means to them to talk about their life, their accomplishments, etc. It’s been a really interesting mix of approaches and I have come to expect nothing less from this group.

The Titheringtons went next with a grand – if rushed – presentation of their own lives and Steve’s serendipitous rocket to editor of the newsroom at the BBC World Service. It was all tinged with a bit of bittersweet, though, as we’ve grown so unbelievably fond of them and they’re heading back to London while we’re in Argentina. Seems the BBC can only spare Steve for one semester and, frankly, I don’t blame them. I think I’d want him back too.

(In fact, we’ll lose more fellows at the mid-year mark. Semiha and Sedat will return to Turkey after the trip to Argentina, although we at least have the consolation of seeing them when we visit Istanbul in February. And El Guapo, Luis Vinker, will stay in Argentina, his home town, when we all head back mid-December. I can’t tell you how much this will change the dynamics of the group and, quite frankly, just don’t really want to think about it right now.)

The presentations took us quite late into the evening, so we were all a bit starved by the time we sat down to eat. Rainey, Graham and Thomas had prepared a meal themed “three friends, three stews, three haikus.” Fortunately, like all good stews, they were none worse for the wear for their delayed service. There was a pasta y fagioli, representing Graham’s upbringing; a tangy New Brunswick stew from Rainey’s NC past; and a thick, peanuty Rwandan stew which no one could really say was or wasn’t authentic. But they were all delicious for sure. And the fact that I don’t remember the haikus should tell you just how hungry we were.

The piece de resistance, however, was Rainey’s famous Strawberry Wooing Pie, a secret family recipe she declined to share. It was the pie she made for Graham on their very first date. It worked. It worked on us, too, which is good since she spent the day slaving over five of them, including making a strawberry glaze by straining berries through cheesecloth. They featured a graham cracker crust (coincidence?), a lovely creamy middle layer (perhaps somewhat cheesecake-y?) and was topped with whole fresh strawberries and said glaze.

Next thing we knew it was Thursday, and Charles Clover and Chris were in the hot seat. Clover kicked things off with a truly fascinating glimpse at his eclectic career, including plenty of slides (okay, a slightly ambitious 251 of them) of his time spent embedded with the troops in Afghanistan. Then he wowed us with a clip of himself being interviewed on Russian television. In Russian. And he looked as suave and cool as a cucumber doing it. Enough so that I’ve started wondering if we’ve got a “No Way Out” situation on our hands….

Perhaps best of all, though, was his presentation of a clip of his acting debut in college in an Arabic language production of Sheherezad. Although we understood none of the dialog, the way he swept his cape around the stage, his raw emotions shone through. What a thespian!

Truly, though, this is one of the things that I love about Charles. He’s an unbelievably intelligent man, capable of conversing about the most cerebral and intricate matters of philosophy and history – in Russian or Arabic, should you so desire. He’s incredibly devoted to his work, an inspiration in terms of writing discipline. And he’s so quiet sometimes, staring off to space in a way that makes you wonder, as another Fellow put it, whether or not he’s “solving fractal equations.” But then he can pull out something so self-effacing, so funny and so…personal at the same time. That’s the good stuff, my friends.

Chris and I went next. I’d like to say it was mostly about him but, in truth, I was the one who mastered Power Point for the presentation so there was plenty about me, too. At first, you think you can’t possibly fill your allotted 30 minutes, but it’s surprising how quickly it flies – especially with questions from the peanut gallery – and so we were actually a bit rushed to wrap things up.

I realize I’m biased, but I thought Chris’ presentation was outstanding. He’s so honest, so apparently passionate about his work, so open and humble about his life’s circumstances. Telling his real story seemed both brave and yet unremarkable for him and I think I value most of all that it got people to see some of the parts of him he holds in reserve in larger groups of people. I’m really, really proud to be married to this man, to be his partner and to be at his side. And I’m not just writing that in case, you know, he’s reading this.

We followed our presentation with yet another giant meal, this time courtesy of Drew and Sally Lindsey and Min-Ah Kim. We started off with a lovely salad and some Korean sushi-type rolls that Min-Ah had rolled with her friends. Truly beautiful little wheels, filled with rice and avocado and crab meat. We followed up with a hearty chili, with big chunks of carrot, peppers and tomatoes and rectangles of corn bread with honey. Then, Min-Ah produced giant bowls of Korean beef, sliced thin and prepared in a slightly sweet marinade. Dessert was a selection of sweets, including home made cupcakes topped with decadent butter cream frosting and a generous sprinkling of stark white coconut.

Thank god those dinners are over because we’ll all be so fat by the end of the year, we’d need to be air lifted from the house…

Dag. It's time to be thankful again!

It's snowing! Hurrah! Check with me in, say, two months when the winter cold will have been relentless and the sight of fluffy stuff floating down from the sky will be mind-numbingly cliche - but for now, it's glorious. I feel giddy like a school girl at the year's first sign of the white stuff, filled with holiday feelings and general excitement. It helps that today feels like a holiday or a school day, with Chris' class cancelled and people scattering hither and yon for the Thanksgiving holiday. I'm typing this curled up on our couch, warm mug of coffee in one hand, a down lap blankie over me, a warm cat at my side. It doesn't get much better than this.

I will say that I have been persistently annoyed this week at how real life keeps encroaching on this fellowship. Laundry keeps not doing itself, the bathroom isn't magically clean all the time and the fridge does not contain a self-renewing supply of groceries. It throws a real wrench in the magical other-world feeling of the fellowship when you're petulantly reduced to cleaning out the microwave. Reality blows. But reality in a college town can be very odd, my friends. I have yet to pass a day sans something truly odd and noteworthy. For example, last Sunday Chris and I left a small but cozy brunch at Wallace House to take a stroll in the truly lovely Arboretum. On our way, we passed two male students, one carrying a quart of egg nog and the other carrying a red plastic cup with a squirrel's tail sticking out of it. Let your imagination run riot as to where they were heading and to what end.

Then, a couple of nights ago, we were returning from a drive over to Trader Joe's and spotted a woman out for her evening run - decked out like a Christmas tree. She had a string of lights around her (which must have been running on a battery pack), garland and ornaments swaying as she took each step. I can only suppose it was a lost bet, but Chris prefers to think she's just spreading holiday cheer.

Did I mention it's fun here?

It seems things have been more scattershot the last week or so, but we were convinced by Lisa to return to Wallace House late Sunday afternoon to bear witness to the weekly tango lessons some fellows have been taking in anticipation of our trip to Argentina. Watching the instructors glide across the floor, making an unbelievably complex communication seem effortless is quite breath-taking.

I greatly admire the fellows attempting tango, which is highly revered in Argentina. (At one point, a fellow said, "It's just a dance" to which the instructor quickly pointed out, "It's not just a dance to them. It's who they are. It's their identity.) Every motion, it seems, means something, is redolant with intent. It requires a tremendous amount of trust in one's partner - and in the dance itself. From a viewer's stand point, it reminded me of yoga in that there's really so much going on - mentally and physically - in what looks like a relatively simple affair.

I can't wait to see them all in action!

Last night was another Wallace House affair. First, was a presentation on China which I missed in order to work on an essay I'm trying to rewrite for submission to an anthology. (It's slow going, in case you didn't pick up on that - but it's due soon.) Chris dropped me off instead at the Espresso Royale on South State, which Jamie Butters has dubbed the Branch Office. He was heading on to Wallace House, so I hopped out of the car at the corner of William and South State.

What I had forgotten before I did so was that a few moments before, my hands dry from the winter air already, I had removed my wedding band and (stupidly) placed it in my lap while I applied moisturizer. Thus, when I sprang forth from the car, my wedding ring went flying out into the ether. Of course, I didn't realize this until about an hour later when, typing away at my lap top, I glanced down and realized I wasn't wearing my ring. And, like in the movies, it came rushing back to me exactly what had happened.

Panicked, I hopped up from my cozy arm chair and abandoned my wee pot of tea and headed back to the corner where, in the light of dusk, I side-stepped traffic to scour the road. I looked in the middle, I searched the gutters. I found cigarette butts, hair bands, a lost hat - but no wedding ring. After a while, I gave up, succumbed to tears and made the cold trudge toward Wallace House.

Some people might have been afraid that their husband would kill them. I don't have this problem, since I'm married to the most forgiving and understanding man on the face of the planet. Still, it would almost have been easier if he was angry at me. Instead, I was left to just be angry at myself, which is a much worse mental scenario.

I still managed to have fun during the presentations, despite being preoccupied with my own idiocy. Fara Warner told us about her life leading up to the fellowship, including some useful bits of advice about writing a book. Then John Bacon took the stand and delivered an (expectedly) funny, self-deprecating and (surprisingly) heartfelt version of his life story.

It's unbelievably moving to hear a journalist (who is more accomplished than he likes to let on), say in all sincerity that being around the fellows this year is an amazing experience for him and that it has already been the best year of his life. I'm telling you, I suspect if you gave this crowd half a chance, they'd weep with appreciation of this opportunity with little provocation. And quite right, too.

Dinner was courtesy of Vindu Goel, his friend Vickie Elmer and the delightful Gail Gibson. They whipped up a feast of American comfort foods, including a gorgeous squash soup, garlic mashed potatoes, chipotle mac 'n cheese, green beans and meatloaf. The meal was rounded out with apple crisp a la mode, which I was too full to sample.

We then adjourned to the living room and somehow got to sharing the tales of how the wedded among us were proposed to. Rainey's sage involved great detail, right down to the chocolate-chip pumpkin pancakes with caramel sauce and whipped cream. Mine was short and funny, with Chris (as always) willingly playing the bad guy. After much coaxing, we convinced Luis Vinker to share the story of his betrothal which turned out to be a hilarious tale about how Argentina winning the world cup completely got in the way of his wedding and honeymoon plans. (Or, perhaps, more accurately, vice versa.)

Then everyone started scattering to prepare for their various journeys home for the holiday - although quite a fair number of stragglers will be joining Lisa for a Thanksgiving feast at Wallace House, many of them foreigners experiencing this particular American event for the first time. On the way home, Chris convinced me to stop at the intersection of William and South State and take one last look for the ring.

It seemed pointless, of course, in the dark with just a hint of light from the street lamps. But light is a funny thing and there was something about where we were standing and the way that it hit the side of my wedding band, which was lying out in the middle of the lane, waiting to be discovered. It had been roughed up a bit, looking as though someone with steel teeth had chewed on one of the edges for a while, but it was there. And now it's back on my finger, where it belongs. Pretty amazing, no?

And so I'm especially thankful for that small miracle as we head into the holiday weekend. I've got a lot to be thankful for, but it's all the little things in my life that make me feel truly blessed. This year has made me even more grateful than usual and I owe a lot of that to Thomas Kamilindi, who - although he probably doesn't know it - taught me in a way I'd never learned before that I am blessed beyond my comprehension. I'm grateful for having a roof over my head and food in the refrigerator and that I can live my daily life largely without fear.

I'm grateful for all the wonderful friends and family Chris and I have. Old ones back home in St. Louis who, as we were reminded recently, are with us even when we're far from them. And amazing new ones we've known only two months but love dearly already. I don't think anyone truly needs a fellowship experience to feel gratitude but, damn, it helps.

Tomorrow morning, Chris and I head off for a regrettably short trip to Ames, Iowa for Thanksgiving at his mother's house. We'll be joined by his sister Amy, who I haven't seen in years, and his brother Joel and his wife Kathleen, who are expecting our new little niece, Genevieve. It'll be a whirlwind trip, with us returning on Friday and while I wish the airlines made it more affordable and easier for us to stay longer, what an amazing luxury - to be able to board a plane and visit family for even the shortest of time. Blessed, I tell you. We're blessed.

Skip the Blue Vinny

Tuesday morning I woke up to discover I was 35. At some point during the night, I had been delivered squarely and inarguably into my mid-thirties. It sort of snuck up on me, which is actually a good way to handle birthdays. (In theory, it limits expectations and/or over-sensitivity about age. In theory, I said.) It occurred to me that I could no longer claim to be in my late-early-thirties by any stretch. No, I'm squarely in my mid-mid-thirties now. Staring down forty in the face. But until I'm in my late-mid-thirties I shan't give it another thought. Actually, it didn’t bother me at all, especially since I slept ridiculously late. When I awoke, the World's Best Husband delivered to me breakfast in bed – a slice of chocolate mousse cake and a big cup of strong java. Probably not part of anyone's nutritionally balanced breakfast but I highly recommend starting your birthday this way, if not every day.

I was absolutely knackered from being a social butterfly all weekend in St. Louis so I spent the most decadent day – lounging in bed reading until noon, then slipping into the fragrant bath my wondrous husband drew for me and poring over a stack of long-ignored mindless magazines. I believe at some point my brain actually ceased functioning. And it was glorious.

As a birthday present to myself and in deference to my laziness, I played hooky from that afternoon’s lecture, from which Chris returned with a bunch of beautiful stargazer lilies. He then presented me with a glass necklace my lovely friend Adria had made, in response to some heavy hints I dropped during the Women’s Support & Community Services Holiday Boutique. We had dinner at Paesano’s, where we’d had an excellent experience sharing a few choice appetizers a few weeks ago. Unfortunately, we didn’t find dinner itself nearly as spectacular, but it was nice nonetheless. Yesterday I woke up to discover it was winter. Just like that, all of a sudden. The glorious fall sun was nowhere to be seen, replaced instead with a steel gray sky and a light dusting of snow flurries. Many people said that Michigan would be cold. It turns out they weren’t kidding. Today, it’s chilly again, temperatures tap-dancing around the lower twenties, the wind oppressive and biting. And while I’m not in the habit of telling you about my intimate wear, I don’t mind letting you know that I broke out the long underwear this morn. And not a moment too soon.

After skipping Tuesday’s lecture, it seems like weeks since I’d seen the KWF gang, so I jumped at the chance to join some of the girls out last night. Gail, Kimberly, Rainey and I kicked off the madness with a cheese tasting at Zingerman’s. It was a little more formal than I had pictured, with all of us seated around long tables at the coffee house with a basket of bread, a pitcher of water and sheets on which to write our observations about the look, smell and taste of each cheese.

I’m not much of a cheese aficionado, steering clear of your stronger-tasting types like Camenbert or Roquefort. My taste buds are embarrassingly unsophisticated and I tend to find such pungent concoctions reminiscent of ripe feet in both taste and smell. However, I’ll do serious damage to a nice fresh mozzarella or a brick of sharp white cheddar.

I wasn’t able to differentiate much between some of the cheeses last night - the words "mild" and "cheesy" generally popped up a lot. We tried cheeses made from both goats' and cows' milk and learned that when you're working up the former, you need to watch out for goat funk. (The phrase "filthy beasts" was used more than once.) They ranged in texture from a cow's milk cream cheese so far from the Philadelphia crap that you'd barely recognize them as cousins. There was a hand-ladeled fresh goat round, and we were treated to the flavor sensation of a small chunk submerged into the most unbelievably yummy squash soup from downstairs.

We got bits of the perfectly peppery Sharon Hollow and the firmer Manchester, which we tasted baked up en croute with an Italian chestnut cream. It was divine but, as I've said before, if you wrapped a shoe in puff pastry, I'd eat it. All of the cheeses are named after small towns in the area, and we lobbied hard, on Gail’s behalf, to get an unnamed cheese named after her hometown of Jackson. Not sure they were having it. (Which is fine with us, really, since that one was packed full of an overwhelming amount of green and cracked black pepper.

The Little Napoleon was a favorite and only partly because of its adorable moniker. The last two were Chelsea, which I don't recall much about and Bridgewater, which was memorable for its slightly beige color and peppery flavor. We learned a number of fascinating facts, including the highly unsanitary origins of the Blue Vinny as well as how to skirt the law and get your hands on some raw milk. And we were given just enough hazelnut gelato to make addicts of us. (Don't dealers always give away the first taste for free?)

After we were so full of cheese we could barely move, we headed down to Rush Street - the sort of classy joint that never would have admitted the likes of me in my drinking days - to meet up with Lisa. We were then joined by Gerard and Graham who, despite their head gear, were distinctly not girls, thus all that chatter about our ovaries ground to an immediate halt. Boys ruin everything, don’t they?

Meet me at the wrecking ball

There were a couple of times when I awoke in the night, which is not unusual for me, and I thought I heard thunder in the distance. Each time, it took full moments to dawn on me that it was, instead, the sound of the wrecking ball reducing whole rows of Busch Stadium to rubble and dust. We had seen the wrecking taking place during the day. The window of our hotel room downtown had a wonderful view of the stadium, looking straight down at the statue of Stan Musial, bat still ready to strike even as everything around him crumbled. 11.13.05 Busch Stadium003We could see through the arches of Busch’s skeleton right into the strange, half-built new stadium, the brand new bright red seats shining, lights in the new luxury booths suggesting work underway. I think I’ve probably been to two baseball games the entire 15 years I’ve lived in St. Louis, but that stadium has always been there, in the background. And while I’m an unlikely candidate, I found myself filled with nostalgia for something I’d never felt particularly tied to.

Of course, woe feeds on collective energy and Chris and I were amazed to find people gathering across the street from the stadiums – at the point where the new one waits impatiently for the old one to disappear so it can progress.

Even at nine o’clock on Saturday night – when the streets of that part of St. Louis are normally a ghost town – there were 50 or 60 gathered to watch the work take place under the glare of the stadium flood lights. Giant construction beasts moved from side to side, gliding across piles of concrete and metal as smoothly as if they were ice. Their giant claws dug into the ground, gnawing insatiably at the infrastructure. Others guided wrecking balls at the end of cables that looked thin as threads. The balls swayed almost gracefully before turning a corner of concrete into powder or bearing down on a mountain of debris. I’ve done a lot of construction writing in the past and I find everything about buildings – from their design inception to their construction to be amazing. But it’s every bit as intriguing to witness the methodical destruction of a behemoth – especially one you didn’t even know you’d grown fond of.

On Sunday afternoon, we detoured from a walk on the riverfront to visit the site again and found well over 100 people gathered. Seems like the city has finally struck on a way to draw locals and visitors alike to the streets of downtown on weekends – by tearing down a landmark. Wait until developers get a hold of that trend.

11.13.05 Downtown021It’s a funny thing to play pseudo-tourist in your own town. We opted to stay in the Hilton on Broadway because Chris got us a stellar deal (of course) and because I’m a terribly fitful and light sleeper, which tends to cause havoc in other peoples’ homes. Thus, I probably spent more time in downtown St. Louis proper this past weekend than I did in the months before I left town to come to Ann Arbor.

Sunday, in particular, was a beautiful day and we walked the few blocks down to the Jefferson National Expansion Memorial . We strolled past the Old Courthouse, where Dred Scott argued for his freedom. We stood under the Arch and marveled at it because, no matter how many times you’ve driven around with it looming in the distance, it’s still a hulking, impressive beast up close. There’s some gorgeous architecture in our city and, like most St. Louisans, I just forget to look at it. Or, perhaps, I forget it’s even there.

So suffice it to say that this visit home – my second since we moved to Ann Arbor – reminded me of the many reasons I do love that city. St. Louis has an ongoing PR problem – the rest of the world thinks it’s smaller than it is and pretty much just holds a bunch of Missourah rubes when, in fact, as Chris says, it’s probably just about ten years away from being a world-class city. But for now, it’s a perpetual also-ran with glorious parks, free museums, gorgeous neighborhoods, stunning architecture, rich history, good people – all without the housing costs of a world-class city. I’ll take that.

11.13.05 Downtown013Last time I was in St. Louis, I felt like I couldn’t wait to get back to Ann Arbor. And while I’m glad to be back in Michigan now – despite the promise of snow later this week – I realize that what I really missed was the grounding of my life with Chris. I do realize how that must come dangerously close to inducing bouts of nausea for readers, but I continue to be amazed at how much a person – or a union with a person – can become your home so much more so than any skyline or building.

I have to say there’s something really appealing about returning to a place where you’re known – walking into an event or a coffee shop and seeing familiar faces, rather than a sea of people you don’t know. We were just so consistently surrounded by friends and well-wishers, those glad to see us and equally thrilled to hear that our adventure in A2 is such great fun.

It was a whirlwind weekend of activity, from the time we got there, it seemed. I had dinner with my best girls Friday night, which is energizing in a way nothing else is. On Saturday, I was supposed to be helping Christina with a shift at the Urban Knitters booth at the Women’s Support & Community Services annual Holiday Boutique. It’s a project some knitting friends and I came up with a year ago to help raise money for the agency, for whom I also volunteer on the crisis line when I’m in St. Louis. We get knitters around the community to donate their hand-made goodies and then we sell them, with 100% of the proceeds going directly to the agency. (Other vendors donate a percentage of their sales, so we didn’t have a tough time being last year’s biggest single donator.)

Needless to say, I wasn’t much help to Christina at all, instead flitting around like a social butterfly, catching up with friends and acquaintances and generally enjoying myself. But I’m just glad I got to be there. Saturday, we caught up with more friends for the afternoon and dinner. Sunday, my wonderful friend Margaret held a glorious brunch with some of the women I admire most in the world. And that night was Free Candy and I tell you, it still amazes me that so many people pack into Hartford Coffee Company just to watch me and Amanda Doyle have a tremendous amount of fun. It was an absolute blast, all of it.

In case any of you are clamoring for the book I was pushin’ hard during the show, it’s The Power of the Purse by Fara Warner. You should buy it now. For every woman you know. And we have to clear the air on behalf of the much-maligned Rob Thurman who, it turns out, did not skip the show to go on a date with our Candy Sponsor, Aaron Belz. No, it seems Amanda accidentally booked him for Sunday, November 17 – which doesn’t exist. He assumed she meant the 20th and, well, this is precisely the sort of thing that led to that annoying saying about assumptions. Thus, when you see Rob Thurman out and about, you needn’t kick him in the shins after all. This business we call show…it ain’t easy.

My heart, it was a gun

Just a quick note of catch-up from the last couple of days before I pack for our trip to St. Louis early tomorrow morning. We’ve just returned home from the Wallace House, where it was our turn to cook dinner for the 30-plus Fellows, Wallace House staff and guests – and I must say that it went swimmingly. Chris’ partner in the endeavor, Charles Clover Middle East & Africa Editor for the Financial Times of London and big fan of Russian culture – expressed his desire to make it a Russian meal. To that end, he had oodles of vodka on hand and whipped up some truly delicious plov, a pilaf with rice, lamb, carrots, onions, raisins, dried apricots and a host of spices. Delicious stuff.

While Clover seemed content to serve vodka as both appetizer and dessert, Chris and I felt perhaps we needed to pad the meal out a tad. On the Russian front, we scared up some dark pumpernickel rye bread and a doled out plates of pickled herring and beets.

I made a nice winter spinach salad with dried cranberries, thinly sliced crescents of Granny Smith apples, candied pecans and goat cheese. Chris thought we should inject a little Scotland into the affair, so we spent the morning rolling up sausage rolls for an additional appetizer and I attempted my first sticky toffee pudding which, considering I was tripling the recipe, turned out pretty well.

I think everyone enjoyed themselves well enough, if the raucous toasts were any indication. (My favorite toast was, by far, Kim’s. She represented her nation with an authentic Australian toast: “To absent friends…Fuck ‘em all.” Just my speed, that one.) It did occur to me that with so much vodka being consumed, we could have served up just about anything – but I’m glad we took the high road. And I hope to never have to cater to that many people again. Quote of the evening goes to Clover – a very quiet, cerebral and generally composed man, for those who don’t know him. He wandered into the kitchen somewhere midway between plov and dessert and says to me, “Don’t let me do any more toasts. I’m completely hammered.”

All in all, a sublime evening. And speaking of sublime evenings, Tuesday night was even more so, thanks to a tremendous performance by Jeff Tweedy at the Michigan Theater. First of all, the venue – which I hadn’t been in yet – is a stunning place, all old-school fanciness with gold-painted detailing. And Tweedy took the stage and filled the place as though they were old friends, perfectly made for one another. I’ve seen him a bunch of times in various incarnations over the years – Uncle Tupelo, Wilco and now solo – and I’ve never walked away so impressed.

He sang a perfect balance of old and new tunes, spanning his entire music career, each song pared down with just a guitar and his voice. That voice, no longer as raw and raspy as it was a decade ago, now strong and earning every note. Beautiful stuff. He also seemed more confident and, hell, even endearing than in previous times, interplaying nicely with the audience. Even the most familiar songs were reinvented and he “dug deep” (his own words) to play some really rare numbers.

In fact, I had one of those odd moments that occur in life, when you know you’re in the right place at the right time and maybe the heavens are aligning or maybe there’s a god or maybe it’s all random – but whatever it is, it’s smashing. People were shouting out names of songs in a cacophony that made single titles unintelligible and I found myself wishing that he’d strum out a version of “Gun.”

It’s a song from Uncle Tupelo’s 1991 album, Still Feel Gone, and while it’s by no stretch their best tune, it’s the one that my friend T. played for me as we rode around Bloomington, Indiana, in her beat-up vintage car that year. Mid-winter, there’s no heat, we’re freezing our asses off but drunk enough to not give a damn and we drove around aimlessly, smoking cigarettes and playing “Gun” over and over and over again. Hitting rewind at the end of it, listening to the cassette tape protest its backward travels before the harsh guitar riff started us off again.

It’s the song that really got me to pay attention to Uncle Tupelo. And it's a song I've never heard played live. And it's the song, as I'm sure you've already guessed, that Jeff Tweedy launched into just as I was thinking to myself that there was no way in hell he'd pull out something that obscure. Sweet moments, those are. Much like the four - count 'em, four - encores the boy treated us to, saying, after the second, "You know, I just don't really feel like going anywhere." And for as long as he played, for as long as his doleful lyrics echoed throughout the theater, neither did I.

Breaking news: women have health issues?

I can’t do it. I just can’t. I’ve been trying to keep this blog updated with all the goings-on but days pass here at a stunning clip, packed with people and activities and before I know it, a week or so has slipped away and I’ve written nothing here. I suspect that people are going on with their lives quite swimmingly anyway, but the thing is…I want to be able to share it all. I want to help people understand just what a tremendous opportunity this is. Yesterday, the Knight-Wallace Foundation and sponsorship partner The Kellogg Foundation hosted a conference on Women’s Health, exploring the press and public policy. It’s an annual affair, focusing each time on a different topic. This year involved a rather impressive panel of experts and journalists, including keynote speaker Susan Wood, who famously resigned her position as Director of the Office of Women’s Health at the FDA after the agency announced its refusal to approve an emergency contraceptive for over-the-counter use. For pro-choice advocates and many passionate about women’s health, she’s about as close to a rock star as it gets – albeit one disguised with long, grey hair older than her years, pulled into a grandmotherly bun at the back of her head.

Considering she was allotted a mere ten minutes to speak (in order to get to the other panelists), Wood made some really interesting points. There’s been a lot of to-do about her decision, many people equating emergency contraception with abortion and turning this into a religious, moral and ethical decision. Wood made it clear, however, that her problem with the FDA’s decision was about science.

Essentially, the FDA put Plan B into “rule-making” status which Wood equates to never-ending bureaucratic limbo – a way to kill its approval without saying so. She noted that this is not about abortion – it’s about women’s access to contraception and that the decision flew in the face of all FDA precedent. No other method of OTC contraception had ever been subjected to such rule-making. There were no concerns about this medication’s safety and efficacy. In fact, it contains the very same hormone – progesterone – that other contraceptive pills use. It was, Wood said, “an unprecedented overruling of scientific consensus and medical evidence.” And that, she pointed out, was what she objected to – essentially, that the FDA took a stance that was outside of their purview, contrary to their historical role and actions. It appeared that Wood took issue with her resignation being co-opted by either side of the pro-choice movement when, really, it’s about a much larger issue.

Her resignation, she explained, “came at a time when it added to the debate about government competence and how decisions were being made….It is those larger issues about science and what you expect from government – and what you should insist on from government – that are important.” Her implication was clear – once the FDA starts making decisions based on anything other than science (such as morals, etc.), it’s dangerous territory.

“Science needs to drive our health policy decision making,” Wood noted. “This is something we should all insist upon.” And she urged members of the press to help define and, in a sense, monitor the “proper role” of the FDA (and other agencies) in science.

Imagine what she could have gotten across in 11 minutes, no?

Wood was followed by a varied group of women in public health, including Vivian Pinn, Director of the Office of Research on Women’s Health at the NIH; Frances Visco, President of the National Breast Cancer Coalition; Kimberlydawn Wisdom, Michigan’s Surgeon General; and several other notable authors and members of the press.

I was intrigued by Visco’s take on the whole cult of breast cancer events. I presumed she’d speak positively about the massive amount of PR and media exposure breast cancer, as a cause, seems to have successfully achieved. It’s something I’ve thought about a lot, especially over the last two years.

After my mother died, I read everything I could about women and heart disease. I discovered that it affects and kills more women than breast cancer – and that lack of knowledge about the symptoms of women’s heart attacks (which often differ drastically from men’s) is part of the reason that women are far more likely to die of heart attacks than men.

In short (too late, I hear you say), I’ve become frustrated that women’s heart disease doesn’t have the same level of PR and activism as breast cancer. Why aren’t we lighting buildings red and buying all sorts of red things on the same scale as we do with the infamous color pink? Visco was firm in her belief, however, that this kind of exposure doesn’t actually help the cause for breast cancer. “The more attention [these things] get, things start to become more of a sound bite rather than a meaningful discussion,” she said.

I had a chance to speak with Visco about her position in person at a reception afterwards at the Wallace House. She reiterated her concern about the role the media can play by focusing on the wrong things (often unwittingly), disseminating erroneous information and giving more exposure to lighting buildings pink and PR-seeking politicians than focusing on the real issues at hand. Very interesting woman.

------Random notes & catch-up:

Youssou N'Dour's Egypt at the Hill Auditorium was a stunning event and the only thing that rivaled his powerful voice were the wonderful women in the audience, wrapped up in traditional Senegalese garb, yards of fabric around their bodies and head. Occasionally throughout his performance, one or two would suddenly jump to their feet, as if seized by an uncontrollable urge, as if their seats could simply no longer contain them. They'd bounce like jewels, the light dancing off the sequins of their gowns, limbs akimbo, hands wringing the air until, as abruptly as they'd taken to their feet, they would return to their seats.

I'm a-comin' home again

It seems that I’m never in Ann Arbor long before another obligation is drawing me out of town. On Friday morning – after we present our dinner to the Fellows Thursday – Chris and I head back to St. Louis for the weekend. It’s time for another installment of Free Candy and I absolutely cannot wait to do it.

For you St. Louisans out there, we’ve got some great guests lined up. Edna Gravenhorst will be joining us – she and two friends started Three Nosey Broads, an agency that investigates the secret history of your historic home. Plus, we’ll have guest band City Folk and also Rob Thurman, taking the baton from KWMU’s Tom Weber as one of St. Louis Magazine's newly named Top Singles. I’ll be catching all of you up on the adventures of the Knight-Wallace Fellowship and life in Ann Arbor. Like you need to hear more. Hope to see you there - Sunday, Nov. 13 @ 7 pm, Hartford Coffee Company. Hey, it's FREE!

On the writing front

I'm excited to have a piece in the upcoming debut issue of 52nd City, from scenesters Thomas Crone, Andrea Avery & Stefene Russell. In addition, I've just finished an essay that will appear in Spike Gillespie's upcoming book on, gulp, anger. Keep your eyes peeled!

I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you

Our Ann Arbor Halloween came and went without much notice, at least in our neck of the woods. Knowing we were staying in that evening - and not wishing to draw the wrath of disappointed youth upon our rental property - we loaded up on candy and drew straws to see who would be on door duty first. We needn’t have bothered. There were only two small groups of miniature monsters and we were left with pounds of candy we fobbed off on the Wallace House Tuesday evening. Our candy paled in comparison to that evening’s meal, which was prepared by Fellows Jamie Butters (Detroit Free Press) and Vanessa Bauza (Florida Sun Sentinel, Havana) – along with tremendous help from Amy Butters and Lisa Rapaport. Jamie gave us a little Detroit flava with Coney Island hot dogs to start along with his specialty pizza which entails a proprietary cheese mixture that requires St. Louis’ own provel “cheese.” It was followed by a Cuban-style treat from Vanessa, including ropa vieja, rice, beans and plantains with mango ice cream and chocolate chip cookies for dessert. One thing’s certain – the fellows know how to down some food.

Today, I was one of only two spouses (props to Sedat!) to drag their lazy asses out of bed and show up at the Wallace House by 7:30 am for a trip into Detroit. (My apologies to the spouses who had legitimate reasons, such as children or even classes, for staying at home. Really, I’m just out to get Rainey for skippin’ out.) I wasn’t really entirely prepared for the day we had ahead of us because Chris "misplaced" his itinerary, so when I took my seat on the bus I wasn’t entirely sure what we were in for. dintymoore_familyThe answer was: a long day, with much to see. We started off with a trip to the offices of Bloomberg News . Yes, the technology they have is impressive. Yes, there are many fascinating applications for Bloomberg in the fast-changing world of news. But, man, the truly notable part of that stop was the fully-stocked kitchen they have for employees and visitors. I mean, who offers their workers free cans of Dinty Moore stew? Almost no one, that’s who.

After a short stop there, we boarded our bus again and headed to the Detroit Free Press where we got to interrupt their morning news meeting. The most challenging part of that trip was finding the bathrooms, but native son Jamie “Black Eye” Butters helped me out with that one. I was actually very impressed with a brief talk given to us by Executive Editor Caesar Andrews – especially since he’s a Gannett player. He has a clear and passionate vision for and sense of what a newspaper should be and what its role is – its obligation, in fact – in and to its community.

Next, we trotted off to Focus: HOPE, a truly impressive non-profit operation that is, in their own words,

“a nationally recognized civil and human rights organization in Detroit, Michigan. Our mission is to use intelligent and practical action to fight racism, poverty and injustice.”

We got a tour of their quite massive facilities for education and manufacturing, child care and education and food assistance. The highlight for me was having the chance to chat briefly with a woman who has coordinated the volunteers for the food assistance program for more than two decades. For the life of me, her name escapes me, but when it comes to people who are forces for good in this world – perhaps for no other reason than because it’s the right thing to do – she’s the real deal.

After a brief time-killing tour of some of downtown Detroit – during which area residents John Bacon and Butters tried to out-dazzle one another with their tour guide talents – we arrived at the Department of Homeland Security. And that, my friends, is the sum total of what I’m allowed to tell you about that visit without risking immediate revocation of my green card and ensuring a swift escort back to the motherland. Although, I’ll risk it all to tell you that I got a dandy souvenir pin from ICE (that’s Immigrations & Customs Enforcement, for those of you who aren’t “in” with the government.)

Since none of us here seems quite used to getting up and going quite so early – everyone seems to have easily and willingly forgotten the routine of having a job – we were all quite knackered by the time all was said and done. It didn’t stop us yakking on the way home about our upcoming week which includes what is for us a rare Tuesday night without a KWF event.

tweedyFor Chris and I, and a couple of others in the group, it means we can actually go to the Jeff Tweedy show at The Michigan Theater . It occurs to me that I haven’t done much writing about music here – largely because we haven’t seen any shows. Ann Arbor, like many college towns, gets some great acts but, for some odd reason, most of them seem to be on Tuesday or Thursday nights when we’re usually booked. But I’m eager to check out some of the venues, including The Ark , which draws a really admirable range of acoustic talent.

In addition, a few weeks back, each Fellow got to request a pair of free tickets to one of a number of upcoming University Musical Society events. So we’ve got tickets to Youssou N’Dour’s Egypt this Saturday at 8 pm at the Hill Auditorium. Looking forward to that one. There’s just no shortage of fabulous events to take advantage of in this li’l town – it’s just a matter of working them into our busy schedules!

You can't go home again

The last glimpse I took, quite intentionally, was from the window of the living room, looking down at back garden, stretching beyond the fence, narrowing to a point on the other side of the small creek where, although it was hidden from sight, I knew an old Adirondack chair sat. Even though the seasons were different, the grass tired and matted and preparing for the winter ahead, it wasn’t hard to envision us five years before. In the lush of May, amidst early humidity and bursting sprays of Dogwood, Chris and I were married in my parents backyard in Louisville. This week, I returned to that house to help my father pack up the last of his belongings before moving out. I never lived in that house but my parents had for 15 years. My family crushed around the long farm table in the kitchen for Christmas dinners and I spent countless summer weekends lounging by the pool. My littlest nieces learned to swim in the chlorinated water. And in the master bedroom, at the end of a narrow hallway, my mother died of a heart attack two years ago.

After two years of rattling around the place, taking comfort – and sometimes feeling pain – in the constant reminders of my mother, my father is moving out. The house is too much for him, and it’s time. He’s ready to leave but, I realized, I may not have been ready to see him do so. Fortunately, there was plenty to be done – decisions to be made about what to keep and what to store, piles of items to be set aside for my sister and brothers and I to sift through later. There were myriad reminders of my mother, not just in every paint color and curtain fabric, but in the tins of golden syrup on the baking shelf in the pantry, in the half-finished crossword puzzle book found tucked away on a cupboard shelf and in her young, curling handwriting on a jotter from a poetry class at teacher’s college. My brother and I dismantled the display her colleagues had made for the memorial service at the pre-school where she taught. We laughed at the battered remains of our childhood stuffed animals, missing limbs and spilling stuffing, a set of black plastic eyeballs painted over with White Out. We grabbed onto miscellaneous pieces of silver in which my father saw no value, if only because we remembered them from our childhood.

Stepping out for a bite to eat, we stopped by the dry cleaners to pick up some of my father’s clothing. The owner greeted my father warmly, by name, and I was struck by how unusual it is to see such a thing anymore. “Are you Thomson’s daughter?” the man asked, when my father stepped outside for a moment. I nodded. “How fantastic for you!” he said and his enthusiasm dissuaded me from arguing the point. “Of course,” he continued. “We knew your mother too. She taught with my mother-in-law. We miss her something terrible.” I nodded again, I think. I mumbled something, perhaps thanks, stunned at how quickly the sadness still bursts in at unexpected moments. Amazed at how moving it is to have the dry cleaner have known your mother. At the door, I stopped and I turned back to the man for a moment. “Thanks for your kindness to my dad,” I said. “It’s the little stuff, you know?” The man nodded. He knew. I managed not to fall apart. Again.

The saving grace of the entire trip, the thing that stopped it from being unbearable, was the magnitude of the task at hand, the sheer volume of stuff that needed to be worked through and so, it wasn’t until 48 hours had passed and the movers were on the van and my own bag was in hand, ready for my return to Ann Arbor that the sadness really presented itself. For the first time in 34 years, there was no family home, no central place my mother and father had created among them. Again, we were all sent reeling, casting about in the absence of my mother to find our own places and our own ways. And we would. We will. That much I know.

-----------------------

By the time I returned to Ann Arbor on Friday night, after flying through Chicago, I was exhausted in every sense of the word. I’d picked up the cold that everyone on earth seems to be passing around. My limbs ached from lifting and sorting and running around. My head ached constantly and my fibromyalgia was nagging at me incessantly, warning me of an impending reappearance. When my husband was waiting for me at the airport with a bouquet of white roses, I melted, folded into their fragrance and asked to be taken home.

Unfortunately, our car wasn’t havin’ it. We replaced the alternator on the Saturn last week (our fourth, thank you, very much) and we noticed the power waning as we left the airport. Fortunately, we made it to a car rental place before the car died, although we were very helpfully informed by the rental car place that we couldn’t park our car there for more than 30 minutes, even if we were renting from them. We tried to explain the difference between parking our car and having it die on us, but their approach to customer service did not accommodate such distinctions. Yet, we were able to call for a tow and ply Budget with some of our dough despite their overall lack of helpfulness.

Saturday, Chris, Vanessa Bauza and I attended a short story workshop as part of the 826 Fundraiser. Entitled “Where Good Story Ideas Come From” and taught by writer Julie Orringer it was a really great energizer, sparking again that flame I fed this summer at Iowa. I used to think I was relatively lucky in that writing often comes to me easily. Especially the business stuff, the pieces I write for clients. It rolls out of me, in complete sentences and paragraphs, with little rewrite required.

Now I’m not so sure that’s a blessing. It means that I’ve never had to really develop the discipline of a really good writer. And I’ve always sort of thought that rule didn’t apply to me, that somehow I could produce great bodies of work without, well, working at it. Finally, at this point in my life, I’m getting it. It ain’t gonna happen. I’m simply going to have to get disciplined, develop an ethic and work hard if I want to write this book or, frankly, anything of meaning.

This may seem obvious to some, but my ability to delude myself and my desire to take the easy road are dazzlingly powerful. I don’t want to write. I want to have written. I want that feeling where I’ve produced something. I want my book to pour out of me with the ease of the rote marketing texts I churned out for years. I want beautiful, breathtaking sentences to arrive in my mind complete, requiring only transcribing.

And then there is the fear that stands in front of me. Even if I manage to become disciplined, to apply my ass to the seat, what if nothing comes out? What if it turns out I’m no good? Or what if it turns out I have one good piece in me and I’m done? What if the ideas that seem genuine and fascinating in my head don’t translate to the paper? Amazing how I can avoid the moment in front of me by seizing on those that have yet to materialize. Kind of my specialty, I think.

----------------

Sunday, Chris and I took a long walk in the morning, followed by another lovely brunch at Wallace House. I was surprised how much I was eager to see everyone again after being away for a few days. We’ve heard tell of previous Fellowship classes that just didn’t gel and it’s hard to imagine. Maybe we’re just lucky, but this is truly a great group of folks and I think we genuinely like each other. It was a dipping day, centering around some wondrous fondue whipped up by Lisa and complemented with some other items, some of them even bordering on healthful. The kids came out in their Halloween costumes, so we enjoyed the company of Tweety Bird, a fierce lion and a raucous young vampire.

A special treat to us, our friend Kathy O’Connor was in town visiting family nearby and she came by the Wallace House with her daughter Keira, who we had yet to meet. It was so wonderful to see old friends again and, frankly, to have them see what a terrific experience this is for us. We wandered around Ann Arbor a bit with them and then Chris and I walked around campus a bit in the late afternoon. I can’t get over how vibrant the fall colors are here. It’s like relentless beauty, just amazing shades of yellow, orange and red. The perfect colors for Sunday.

Every night is party night at Wallace House

It seemed we barely had enough time to recover from the weekend before we found ourselves all suited up and back at the Wallace House for this Tuesday’s program. This week, writer, professor and Knight-Wallace Foundation board member Nicholas Delbanco read to us from some of his work and led a brief discussion on the relationship between novel writing and reporting. It’s always interesting to me to see writers read their own work and Delbanco clearly seems to enjoy doing so. He’s the opposite of some writers I’ve seen, the kind that try to shrink into their chair or hide behind their podium, seemingly embarrassed by their work. 10.25.05 Min-Ah & SemihaThe mood seemed slightly different to me than on previous Tuesday nights. I think it was the combination of some real bonding having taken place over the weekend and the slightly more relaxed atmosphere as Charles Eisendrath was in New York for an event featuring Mike Wallace. Sort of like having your parents go out of town, although Birgit would have kept us in line, I’m sure. “I still want to work here,” she said. Min-Ah Kim was the first to present and she told us both about her life in South Korea and the country itself. I really like Min-Ah a great deal. She’s just unbelievably warm and friendly and laughs at absolutely everything. (In fact, for the most part, this is a pretty happy bunch – and understandably so, given the opportunity presented them.) I wasn’t surprised to learn of her fast descent to becoming the first female political reporter for her paper, which is South Korea’s independent daily. I was a little more surprised to learn that she, at one point, quit journalism to move to London and realize her dream of seeing Les Miserable from the front row. (This ultimately earned her a new nickname, Les Min.)

Drew Lindsay, managing editor of The Washingtonian magazine, went next. He didn’t reveal too much about himself – except in his incredibly sweet description of being bowled over by wife Sally upon first meeting her. At one point in their early marriage, if I heard correctly, he and Sally quit their jobs and spent ten months driving around the US, seeing everything they wanted to. What an amazing experience to have together.

10.25.05 Drew Lindsay It was interesting to get the perspective of a magazine guy, since the majority of people here have done the bulk of their work in daily newspapers. For me, it shed some light and answered some questions (while raising others) about city magazines. Having written for St. Louis Magazine in the past, I’ve always been kind of curious about the place and purpose of this type of publication.

Afterwards, we were treated to a simply magnificent meal prepared by Steve and Sarah Titherington and Luis “El Guapo” Vinker. It was, apparently, Luis’ first foray into cooking ever and while he claimed to have done nothing to help out, Sarah disagreed and was threatening to tell his wife in Argentina that he was now ready to help in the kitchen. Luis, needless to say, wasn’t down with that idea. But, he conceded, “it makes me appreciate my wife and what she does more.” Strike one for feminism in Argentina!

The meal started with the most exquisite stuffed red peppers, filled with cheese, basil, anchovies and drizzled with olive oil. A simple salad with a lovely vinaigrette followed and then came some of the best lasagna I’ve ever tasted – and I say that of both the meat and vegetarian varieties, which Chris and I shared. You can’t imagine my delight to learn that dessert was meringues with whipped cream and berries. A bit of a curiosity to Americans – who generally eat their meringue soft and on top of pies – meringues are one of those foods that are unbelievably nostalgic for me. When we were growing up, they were a frequent treat at birthday parties, fresh whipped cream sandwiched between two meringues – the perfect balance of hard shell and chewy bottom (tee hee, that sounds funny.) They reminded me of my mom.

Of course, she’s been on my mind a lot lately anyway, not just because it’s October. I’m heading to Louisville for a few days to help my father finish packing up the house in which they lived together for 14 years until her death two years ago. The new owner will move in by month’s end and then the place where my mother died, the back garden where Chris and I were wed will become part of someone else’s history. So strange.

I’ll return home late Friday and then on Saturday will attend a short story writing workshop with Julie Orringer, whose How to Breathe Underwater I’m finishing up. That evening is the 826 Monster’s Ball, including a reading by Elizabeth Kostova, who is the author of the NYT bestseller The Historian – and a former student of Nick Delbanco. Speaking of 826, I was regaled with donations last night towards the Oxford English Dictionary (abridged, two-volume) that I have convinced the Fellows would be a great contribution to 826 Michigan. In fact, we gathered more than enough money to cover the cost and have a little extra with which to purchase a few other books from their wish list. It feels really good to be making a mark as a group, a lasting contribution to Ann Arbor. Maybe it’s just the first of many more to come.

What happens up North stays up North

This weekend was the Fellowship trip “up North,” to allow us to experience the far reaches of the glorious state of Michigan all decked out in the magnificent colors of fall. And to provide a little enforced togetherness and bonding amongst our motley crew. Grambo & CC RiderOn Friday, Chris and I headed out with Fara Warner and Thomas Kamilindi as our passengers. As the entire state of Michigan is perpetually under construction, with highways narrowed down to one unmoving lane, we weren’t as expeditious as we’d hoped. But we passed the time swimmingly. I was privileged to share the back seat with Thomas and learn even more about Rwanda. Then, Fara and I decided to amuse Thomas with our limited French speaking skills. (Actually, amusing his wasn’t our intent, but certainly the overall effect.)

I feared we would be late to arrive as we were told to be there well in time for a 6 o’clock dinner. However, we were the first group to arrive at our digs, pulling in just around the same time as Birgit, KWF program manager and general saving grace. (It would be tough to overstate what a great asset she is to the program and how she’s turned wrangling all of us to one event or another into a graceful art.) Our destination was the rusticBoyne Valley Lodge , a rustic place with rustic lodging for rustic trips into the rustic. As far as places to stay go, it was pretty rustic, the sort of place built to accommodate large groups of high school students on ski trips. There was a dark, wood-paneled central room with a giant fireplace smack in the middle and four long picnic tables for accommodating meals. The walls were decorated with sort of a hodge-podge reflecting the passing of years – fading fake floral arrangements accompanied by oversized sepia-toned photo prints of the town several decades past, an American flag hanging from the ceiling and wall plaques asking for the Lord’s blessing.

On either side of the center room stretched a hallway, one leading to guest rooms, the other leading to more guest rooms, a game room and the outdoor heated pool. At first, I was pleased to learn that our room was one of those closest to the center. Why, I cannot say, since I’m the world’s lightest sleeper. But perhaps the crisp fall air was making me delirious. Or maybe I thought it would help me be first in line for meals.

Chris and I put our bags in our room, which was equipped with bunk beds enough to sleep eight – and little else. Wood paneled walls and a tiny window made for extremely low light, which may actually have been for the best. We had a sink in our room and a bathroom with a shower that dribbled water on those patient enough to wait for the water to heat. But it was clean and, frankly, probably the closest I’ll ever get to camping.

In truth, you simply can’t take a car ride with Thomas Kamilindi and hear about his life in Rwanda and then complain about your lodging. Especially when the KWF is footing the bill. And so the others straggled in and after we all got settled in our digs, we sat down to a dinner of lasagna and let the fun begin.

I’m not sure if it was Rainey who first plied the jukebox with quarters but I enjoy blaming her for the subsequent hour of perhaps the worst selection of music I’ve ever been privy to. Nothing good comes of hearing both the Macarena and Chumbawumba in one evening, let alone twice (each) in the space of an hour. Yet, we mingled around as some played pool and others (mostly children and parents with no other choice) got in the heated pool outside.

To say it was a fun evening is both an understatement and a necessary generality. I learned to play Squinch, a card game Stephannie brought. (The fact that it had a full page of instructions tells you how well I adapted to it, although by some mathematical fluke I did actually win.) And around us, much, much alcohol was consumed. And then the singing began.

John Bacon & Gail GibsonI’m not certain, but I believe the songs began when Gail was forced to make good on a bet she had with John “Jub Jub” Bacon – something to do with Michigan trouncing Michigan State a few weeks ago. Gail was a great sport and read/sang the Michigan fight song for the gang. Then, people were sharing tunes like crazy. Stephannie wowed us with her classically trained voice. Thomas sang a song in French. Sedat sang one in Turkish. Charles "C-Deuce" Clover sang a desperately sad-sounding Russian song. (When Chris asked him later what the song was about, he said, “I can’t remember. Something sad. I mean, there aren’t really any happy Russian songs.” Point taken.)

In addition, Min-Ah sang a traditional song from South Korea and, for some reason I can’t quite recall, Graham “Grambo” Griffith and John Bacon sang “Swing Low, Sweet Chariot.” At some point, Jamie “Black Eye” Butters whipped out his guitar and we did some well-intentioned – though not exactly harmonious – group numbers. I think what amazed me most was when he played Yellow Submarine and I looked up and everyone knew the lyrics – Min-Ah, from South Korea; Semiha, from Turkey; Thomas, from Rwanda. Even the Brits in the crowd seemed to be familiar with The Beatles. Go figure.

Thomas & Rainey get down!Speaking of Brits, Steve Titherington took over the guitar at one point to regale us with what he said was a traditional English number – and proceeded to lead everyone in a rousing rendition of “Jolene.” It was actually very cool – at the risk of treading on some pretty clichéd ground – that our real bonding started sharing songs and music. It really does have an amazing capacity for bringing people together and serving as common ground among cultures.

And, apparently, so does liquor. Thus, as the night went on, there was dancing. Lots of dancing. Semiha whipped out some bright orange scarves and led an impromptu belly dancing performance featuring Fara, Clover, Rainey and Vanessa. Pretty soon, Thomas was inventing a new dance – aptly titled “The Kamilindi” - which involved grabbing one foot behind you and hopping around on the other. This all turned into a performance by Kamilindi and the Rwandettes, who are bound to hit the road anytime now. Check your local listings for a performance near you.

Flanked by Fara and Vanessa, Jub Jub then sang some Ray Charles numbers into a beer can. That and the fact that Grambo was practically horizontal suggested it might be time for the wise to head to bed. (Truth is, the wise had headed to bed a good two hours ago.) By the time Chris and I turned in, it was 1:30. We might have crashed had we not been in a room that shared a wall with the main room. A thin, thin wall – as, we all discovered, all of the walls were. But Gerard "Mail Man" Riley and Jub-Jub had decided this would be a smart time for a soccer match.

Fara & Semiha shakin' itUnfortunately, our wall was Gerard’s goal target and, as far as we could tell, Gerard’s a good player. (The next morning, Gerard sensibly explained that if we were to be upset with anyone, it should really be with Bacon for being such a lousy goalie. Valid point.) I’m told the action finally wound down around 3:30, which meant that everyone was bright-eyed and bushy-tailed at breakfast the next morning. You know, if they made it to breakfast. (Note: Gail Gibson, who mainlined Scotch Friday night, showed up at breakfast clear-eyed and perfectly coiffed. She clearly has a deal with the devil.)

Saturday, I took a short stroll down the road from the lodge with Bacon, Clover, Rainey and Chris to check out a little creek nearby. It was absolutely crystal clear and chock full of large salmon zipping this way and the other. We made our way back and left shortly thereafter for a quick lunch at Red Mesa Grill (really great little Tex-Mex spot, by the way) in Boyne City on our way to Charles and Julia Eisendrath’s farm for the day.

The farmThe farm – which has been in Charles’ family for decades – is an absolutely gorgeous piece of land, dotted with apple trees and cherry trees, the latter generating enough income to keep the farm running. The main farm house was constructed of two kit houses built side to side, the exterior painted white with bright blue trim and shutters. (When we arrived, Charles already had a couple of former fellows hard at work piling up wood for the wood-burning furnace that is the home's primary source of heat.) At the top sits a crow’s nest we climbed up to in order to get a breathtaking view of the land and Lake Charlevoix. The land also holds two small guest cottages (one that does double duty as a heated garage), a large garage and several out-buildings.

At Charles' suggestion, kicked off our afternoon with a stroll through the woods where a yellow, leaf-strewn path led us down to the sandy banks of the chilly lake. On the way, we fortified ourselves with the most crisp and perfectly sweet apples plucked straight from the tree. At the lake, Chris and I watched as Fara and Clover (a former crew man at the University of Wisconsin at Madison) pulled the waiting canoe into the water and oared their way out into its center. Soon enough, we were joined by a gang of others. Some brave souls – including most of the children and the incorrigible Grambo – rolled up their pants and went wading in the water. The rest of us stood at the shore, huddled inside our sweaters and coats as people took turns helming the canoe.

After a bit, we wandered back up to the farm where our next activity awaited – cider pressing. We gathered up as many apples as we could from the ground, with children scattering in every direction and racing to grab up fruit and toss them into the back of Charles’ tractor. Once enough had been gathered, the pressing begun. It’s a quaint and incredibly slow process, but Drew and Sally Lindsay’s children seem no strangers to hard labor and if it weren’t for their diligent efforts – with help from some grown ups, especially Chris – we may not have had any cider to sample.

Cider makin'Some fellows gathered in the back yard to play the unfortunately-named game of Corn Hole. (It should surprise no one that Gail was responsible for this diversion.) Others of us, though, snuck into the house and warmed ourselves by the fire until it was time to head back down to the Lodge for dinner. Charles and Julia Eisendrath, along with some former fellows from years gone by, joined us back at the ole homestead for a dinner of barbecued chicken, rice, carrots and salad. Then we were treated to an impromptu “program” event, where two of the past fellows talked to us a little bit about life after journalism and the direction in which their lives had headed after the fellowship.

All of us were a bit exhausted by the time everything was said and done, so bed came earlier. (Although, some held their own in a card game until well after midnight.) Sunday morning, there wasn’t time for much other than breakfast and packing before we headed out the door, planning a quick round of shopping at the Birch Run Outlet on the way back. For this leg of the journey, we traded Vanessa for Thomas, as she wanted to shop some more and he, suffering from a cold, did not.

It was a nice trip back. I got a chance to hear even more about Fara’s book, “The Power of the Purse,” which discusses how major companies have finally come to recognize women as important consumers and the adjustments they’ve made to court my gender. (I bought it last week but haven’t started reading yet.) As a former marketer and a woman, I’m intrigued both by the subject matter and Fara’s opinions and knowledge. As a writer, I’m equally interested in the process of book writing itself.

To be honest, I haven’t made any ground on that myself since I arrived here. I’m a bit afraid and unsure of the process as well as grappling with whether or not I really do have a book in me. I’m getting some good tips from those around me and I think I’ll just have to formulate a plan and get started. As Dorothy Parker said, “The art of writing is the art of applying the ass to the seat.” I think what I’m most afraid of is getting my ass on the seat, my fingers on the keyboard and discovering I have nothing to say. Although, come to think of it, that’s not something I’ve ever been accused of….

The real reason we went to Canadia

Totem PolesI wish it involved some great mystery, but the truth is that Chris and I have accidentally but completely become addicted to watching season one of Lost on DVD. You know, in case you were wondering what kind of high-brow pursuits we were up to while on this fellowship. We simply had to escape for a couple of days. And escape we did. Yesterday proved to be an absolutely glorious day and we awoke in Windsor to our view of the sun glinting off the GM building across the river. "It's so beautiful," Chris said. "Like a ray of hope, a day alive with possibility at GM. Like the people inside are thinking, maybe today I'll build a new SUV, a bigger one that gets even fewer miles to the gallon." So moving.

As with most places, Windsor's waterfront is far more beautiful if the weather cooperates and so, although it was a tad chilly, we strolled west on the waterfront for a ways toward the public sculpture park. In fact, we've been struck this entire time with how much public art there is in Windsor. Really quite impressive. Even if, you know, I'm too dumb to get most of it. And we discovered the real reason Canada is so different from the United States. It has nothing to do with that "aboot" thing. The squirrels there are BLACK. BLACK SQUIRRELS! Amazing. I've never seen such craziness in my life. What is nature smoking?Canadian squirrel

We wanted to go to see the John Freeman Walls Historical Site and Underground Railroad Museum, dedicated to the last stop on the underground railroad. Problem was, we couldn't find it. We found the web site, which doesn't list an address and multiple listings of it in search engines, all with addresses Yahoo! maps said didn't exist. Quite the bummer. I mean, we understand the need to keep it hidden at the time, but really, there hardly seems a need for that now.

Next, we did what all good tourists do in any new city - checked out the yarn shops. (Oh, wait...is that just me?) I showed remarkable restraint by only picking up four skeins of yarn at a shop called Knit 1 Purl 1, where the owner was a middle-aged woman in black leather pants who stepped outside to smoke while I browsed. Smashing! (Note that I have absolutely no need for any more yarn, since I can't possibly knit up everything I've brought with me to Ann Arbor - and I don't even know what I'll make with it. But it was pretty. And soft....)

I also wanted to do some financial damage at the Duty Free shops - impress my family by sending them packages of the British candy we loved as kids (especially Flakes and Crunchies). But with both of our full attention focused on this task, we managed to somehow miss the Duty Free shops. Handily enough,right before you get on the bridge to the US, there's a sign that says, "Duty free shops? Ask the attendant." Since there was no attendant on the Canadian side, we asked the fine gent on the US side: "How do we get to the duty free shops?" His answer, delivered with shocking disregard for our needs, was, "You don't. You missed them. They're all on the Canadian side."

I would have spent the entire trip home sulking about that if I wasn't so busy sulking about the ridiculous traffic hold-ups on I-94 back into Detroit. The westbound highway was down to one lane with no one doing any actual construction anywhere, as far as we could see.

Now we're back in Ann Arbor and, I'll tell you, there's no need to go any further than our neighborhood to experience the most stunning fall colors I've ever seen. It's absolutely glorious out there today - just crisp enough for a light sweater, clear blue sky and trees displaying leaves the most unbelievable shades of orange, yellow and red. Choke cherries, walnuts and acorns crunch under your feet when you're not slushing through piles of fallen leaves. It's fall, my friends. And I love it.

Oh...Canadia.... Huh.

Never let it be said that Chris and I are not fly-by-the-seat-of-our-pants people, for we are. And to prove it, we made last-minute plans this morning to drive over to Windsor, Ontario for the night – my very first trip to Canadia. We fortified ourselves first on the lunch buffet at Raja Rani in Ann Arbor – not great Indian food, but decent, and a fairly generous buffet. Then, loaded down with curry, we got in the car and headed…um…east? South? I’m not really sure. I wasn’t paying much attention. One of the great things about living in a college town is college radio, which means you hear some unbelievably amateur DJ-ing and some really weird stuff. Such was the fare we caught on our way towards Ontario, when they played “The Black Cat,” an episode of a 1947 radio show entitled “Mystery of the Air.” In it, the fabulously over-the-top Peter Lorre narrated a fantascially predictable "dark and compelling tale" of a man who spirals into a drunken mania and winds up offing his black cat. The cat, naturally (or, perhaps, supernaturally) seeks revenge from beyond the grave.

Unfortunately, we lost the signal before we heard the end, but I’m going to go ahead and guess it wasn’t good. Not good at ALL! DUN DUN DUUUUNNNNN!

Anyhoo, it only takes about an hour from Ann Arbor to skirt Detroit and cross the Ambassador Bridge – suitably impressive for such a passage – into Canadia. There, at the border, I clutched my British passport and Resident Alien card and prepared myself to answer a whole slew of questions about my mother’s mother and the contents of my pill case. I was actually rather disappointed when we were waved through without incident, having been taken for our word at whether our trunk was weighed down with firearms. I must say that, at first sight, Windsor is a bit of a disappointment for someone who has let her excitement about visiting Canadia get completely out of proportion. (I should also mention that this doesn’t change much with subsequent sights, either.) First, we drove down a few rather nondescript streets to reach the Hilton on the waterfront, where my genius husband got us yet another unbelievable hotel room deal - $57 plus tax for the night.

Our hotel room, located on the 17th floor, has quite a nice little view of the Detroit skyline which, according to multiple sources, is one of the “best” things Windsor has to offer. Huh. Call me crazy, but I get far more pleasure from the site of a big, cushy bed made by someone other than me. But the view’s okay, too, I suppose.

Perhaps it didn’t help that it was gray and rainy, but a brief walk along the waterfront and an exploration of some of the streets surrounding our hotel didn’t yield much excitement. We’re just a couple of blocks from the Casino Windsor which looks like it was inspired by the Love Boat, a design concept that now sticks out like a bad suit from the same decade.

Right before the rain came down, we ducked into a little coffee shop where I observed a very strange phenomena – it seemed that every person in downtown Windsor was a rather weird looking middle aged white man. For a solid five minutes, all who entered or passed the coffee shop fit that description to a T, save for the young women behind the counter. I had just started to feel a little Twilight Zone, when a young family broke the spell by coming in out of the rain. But still. Weird.

It was still raining and we had no umbrella, so we headed back to our hotel where we killed an hour watching a Spanish soap opera. We understood nothing except that one woman was married to Eduard – who was not the guy she was kissing – and that an older guy had nothing. Plus, everyone cried. Compelling stuff, but we were both disappointed that our linguistic skills had not improved as a result of our viewing time.

Then we set out to find a place called Kildare’s, an Irish pub in Walkerville. (The area is named after Hiram Walker, who manufactured his booze there.) This afternoon, I’d thrilled to see loads of British sweets in the shops and for a brief second, the hazy stroll along the river side took Chris and I back to similar strolls along the south bank of the Thames in London. Somehow, fish and chips had come up and we did a Google search to find the best in the area and a place called Kildare House popped up.

Built inside a historic home in the area, Kildare’s is probably the most authentic British pub I’ve ever encountered in the states. The front room is dark, warm and filled with that wonderful sweet and cardboardy smell of pubs, with chairs arranged around some low tables and men holding up the long, shiny dark wooden bar.

We took a seat in a smaller room where the walls were decorated with photographs of Hiram Walker’s original manufacturing plant as well as some WWII letters and photos from a Dixon family. The menu offered tons of wonderful fare from my childhood – Shepherd’s pie, steak & kidney pie, fish and chips. And even though I’d wanted fish at the night’s outset, when I saw they were offering up Scottish pie with chips and beans – our traditional Saturday afternoon lunch when I was a wee lass in Glasgow – I couldn’t pass it up.

piesChris got the fish and it was the closest thing I’ve ever tasted to Scottish fish and chips, if you can forgive the substitution of halibut for cod. Even the diet coke had a sweet, syrupy flavor I remember from pub colas in my childhood. Lovely place, wonderful and dark. Everything was nostalgic, right down to the British-style service (read: indifferent.) There were plenty of genuine Irish and Scottish accents ringing out from the other room and I burst into a giant grin when I heard a gruff Glasgwegian voice good-naturedly declare someone “a fuckin’ fuck bastard.” My people have a way with words. I got misty-eyed.

We’d have stayed for the Monday night open mic if we weren’t two hours too early for it. So we drove around a bit to see what Windsor was about and the answer seems to be: bingo, “massage” parlors (complete with actual red lights), and strip malls. Plus, the odd auto manufacturer, seeing as how this is one of Canadia’s largest auto manufacturin’ cities. It is also the only place where you reach Canadia from the United States by heading south. And now that’ll have to do because I’m fresh out of facts about Windsor. I hope to gain some more tomorrow as we seek out a public sculpture park and an Underground Railroad Museum.

You can't make me a football fan.

It’s been a rather low-key week since my return from St. Louis, with much good socializing and getting-to-know fellows. Plus, it seems this week a sense of routine might finally have settled in, and I’m beginning to realize this isn’t exactly vacation. This is where our life is now. Friday night, Chris and I met up with some of the fellows at a bar called Conor O’Neil’s where we sat outside and ate some appetizers amidst throngs of Penn State thugs who had descended on the town for today’s football game. Occasionally, people walked or drove past the pub, noticed the crowd of Penn State fans and yelled out “We are.” In response, the goombas sitting near us all stood up and bellowed “Penn State!” I mean, really. This is their cheer? Identifying themselves?

Then we walked over to The State Theater and saw Junebug, an interesting little flick that I can’t decide whether or not I liked. We did get to have coffee after the show with Graham, Rainey and Luis Venker (the editor from Buenos Aires). It was really the first opportunity I’ve had to sit down with Luis and try to communicate. His English has become so much stronger, my Spanish is still virtually non-existent.

We talked, among other things, about sports fanaticism and he expressed surprise that the Penn State fans would walk around with their team shirts on. In Argentina, he said, if there is a soccer match scheduled with Brazil, fans of the latter don’t dare identify themselves in public. “What happens if they do?” I asked. “They get killed,” Luis said. Since I’ve arrived here, countless people have told me that I simply “have to” experience at least one Michigan football game. I’m absolutely perplexed as to why. “There’s nothing like it,” one person said, in an attempt to convince me. Yeah, well, I bet there’s nothing quite like electrocution but I’m not gunning to check it out, either.

It reminds me of the fact that I don’t like sushi. That is, when you tell people you don’t like sushi, they don’t believe you. They assume you haven’t tried it (which I have, many times) or you just haven’t tried it at the right place. Sushi lovers cannot accept your failure to see things their way; they are culinary evangelists.

Similarly, people can’t accept the fact that I hate a) football, b) crowds and c) our nation’s absolutely ridiculous obsession with sporting events. They still want me to go. And, for some reason – perhaps all of my resolve was in the tooth I had removed – I agreed to accompany Chris to this week’s match with Penn State.

I should note that I still didn’t get why I should go. (Another person said to me, “I’ve never seen so much yellow and blue in one place.” Now, see, that doesn’t sound to me like a reason to go somewhere. More like a reason not to go somewhere….) But I agreed that if everyone thought I should, maybe I was missing something. Thus, around 2 o’clock today, Chris and I ventured out from our house to walk the mile or so over to the stadium.

Within blocks of our house, we found ourselves marching in step with Wolverine fans, all decked out in the team’s unfortunate colors. We passed the high school field on our right, where tailgaters had been occupying coveted space since early the previous evening. The crowd grew thicker on either side of Stadium Boulevard. People were jostling now, pushing past one another with beer bottles or plastic cups of bottles.

As we gathered at the intersection of Stadium and Main, police officers used whistles and a loudspeaker to bring traffic to halt and to let us lemmings cross en masse. Next to me, some young men were grunting out unidentifiable guttural sounds. People became completely indistinguishable from one another.

Yes, there was energy in the air but it didn’t strike me as particularly positive energy, tinged as it was with possibility. Yes, there is something to behold in the collective conscious of so many people gathered in any one place, for any purpose. But all these people – the stadium seats 110,000 – were pushing forward for what? A football game? I paused on the far side of the road, right outside the entrance to the stadium and just watched the next wave of people waiting their turn to cross. And I thought: I hate this. I truly, completely hate this.

Sometimes, the universe hands you a gift. And in my case, my gift was the combination of my ignorance of stadium policy and the fact that my purse measured more than five inches by eight inches. I was refused entry by a man pushing 80, who used a protractor-like plastic guide to illustrate to me exactly how out of bounds my purse – bulging with, of course, sun screen, reading material, an apple, etc. – was. Chris’ face fell. “Oh, man,” he said. The relief I felt was indescribable. “No,” I said bravely. “You must go in. The fellows…they’re counting on you.” “But…” he stammered. “I can’t possibly go in without you.” “Oh, yes,” I said. “Yes, you can. Be brave. Be strong!”

And with that, Chris entered the stadium and I turned around and faced the task of crossing the road in the opposite direction of hundreds of Michigan football fans. I bobbed and wove my way across the street, the flickers of yellow and blue making me dizzy as I went. It took me one block, then two and finally three blocks towards our house before the crowd died down and the sidewalk opened up and I felt completely free. You know, the way you do when you have a beautiful Saturday on your hands and you get to spend it any way you want to.

Meet the hero

If you were keeping track of such things, you'd know that we've been here in Ann Arbor for more than a month now. And if you were the sort to dwell on such things, you might note that this means the fellowship is 1/8th over. Try not to freak out about it. Time is flying, especially this past week, part of which I spent back "home" in St. Louis. I put "home" in fancy quotation marks because after a few days there, sleeping at a friend's house and driving around feeling a bit like a nomad, I'm driven to wonder what defines home. I own a house in St. Louis, but someone's renting it right now. I have friends in St. Louis but I have friends lots of other places.

But that's far too philosophical a musing for someone coping with the massive pain left behind from having a molar yanked from my head on Monday. If you have never experienced the very odd sensation of having one of your teeth wrenched away from your jaw bone, if you've never heard the crunching noise as it comes apart under the weight of your dentist's pliers, then you are a lucky soul.

Then again, as I have had so many opportunities to recall lately, I am a lucky soul as well. It was truly wonderful to see so many friends over a whirlwind weekend in the Lou, especially all my ladies. Here is what I know: it's good to be known. It's good to be somewhere where people know you. That I miss, sometimes.

10.11.05 Wallace House006 I arrived back home late Monday night after a really trying Southwest airlines flight and although I was tempted to stay in bed all day Tuesday and pity my bloody-gummed self, there was no way I was going to miss Paul Rusesabagina's visit to the Wallace House. (You can check out my Flickr set of pics from the day here.)

We were served a smashing spread for lunch that day before Rusesabagina spoke. In fact, I didn't realize he had arrived until I sat down next to Chris with my plate balanced on my lap and looked up to realize that there, in a chair two feet from me, was Paul Rusesabagina. I recognized him from pictures and am proud of the fact that I did not dissolve with rock-star appreciation and drop to my knees at his feet. Instead, I concentratd on balancing my plate in my lap and made conversation with him about what he does now that he is not longer in the hotel business or in the business of saving 1,200-odd people from certain death. The answer, as it happens, is that Mr. Rusesabagina is now a business man, the owner of a trucking company in Africa. "That must be hard to do," I said, "considering how much time you spend traveling and speaking." He smiled and nodded. "Too much time," he said.

To kick off the event proper, Charles Eisendrath reminded us that Paul's talk was off the record and that what he said in our presence stayed in our presence. (Thus, I cannot regale you with specifics, else I would have to kill you.) After Charles' brief words, our own Fellow Thomas Kamilindi introduced his friend Paul, whom he referred to as "immortal." Indeed.

Did I mention I was star struck? In truth, Paul Rusesabagina could have stood and talked about pixies and I would have hung onto every word. We've met some very impressive folks thus far in the fellowship, but I don't know that I've before experienced the sensation that you're in the room with a man who is a true hero, a man who made history with his brave deeds.

Rusesabagina, of course, brushes off the notion that he's a hero, that he was simply a hotel manager doing his job. He seems to think that he simply did what everyone would have done were they in his shoes. It's a nice thought, but I'm not sure he's right. I don't know what I'm capable of, but I'm not a particularly brave person. I don't know that I'd have the courage simply to choose courage rather than fear.

Paul was generous in answering questions that ranged in topics from how the media should cover events in Africa to whether or not he chose Don Cheadle to play him in the movie. And while he spoke off the record, I don't think he'd mind my saying that his main objective, in all of this - in making the movie, in giving speeches - is to raise global awareness of genocide. He wants, I think, to ensure that what happened in Rwanda never happens again - that the world never turns away again.

Even though we already are, of course.

Where have all the knitters gone?

It's Saturday, early afternoon, and I've arrived back in St. Louis in anticipation of having a fractured tooth attended to on Monday morning by my trusty dentist. I thought I'd perform a sneak attack on the old knitting gang at Harford, so I had a friend drop me off here. And no one's here. Not one knitter! Where are the parade of regulars who come waltzing through on Saturdays? Where is the falafel crowd? Curse you all, then. I'll drink my non-fat latte and type away on my laptop like every other person in here.

Sheesh. I can go and sit in a coffee house where I don't know anyone any day of the week in Ann Arbor!

Every day is multicultural day at the Wallace House

The first time I watched Hotel Rwanda, on DVD, I sat on the couch for about an hour afterwards, sobbing, inconsolable. The second time I watched it, this past Thursday evening, I watched with (somehow) both greater investment and greater detachment. Usually, when I watch a film like this I have no trouble letting empathetic tears well in my eyes. But that's hard to do without feeling like a big fat faker when Thomas Kamilindi is sitting two feet away from you. As I've written in previous posts, Thomas is a Rwandan journalist who sought refuge at the Hotel Mille Collines. The on-screen Hollywood recreations of scenes of slaughter and genocide were things he experienced with his own eyes. The horror, the terror - all of it is no longer celluloid depictions but Thomas' actual life. It is simply unimaginable to me.

After the screening, we gathered somewhat awkardly around Thomas, who was seeing the film for the third time. "But every time," he said in his thick accent, "it is the same thing." What on earth do you say to someone who has lived through this? Apologizing - for what? and on behalf of whom? Americans? all humanity? - just isn't enough. Still, it was all I could manage. Later, I asked him how it was that he emerged from this without hatred for the United States. Perhaps I was looking to assuage my own guilt with such a query. He answered, "There is no point to be angry...What good would it do? It is late now. I can understand why we are not important to the Americans. Why should we be? It is late." And again, softly, "It is late."

------

We've been here only three weeks and already I'm feeling so much more aware. So much more conscious of the fiber of the world outside of St. Louis. Knowing Thomas has been a huge part of that as has learning about Turkey from Semiha, Argentina from Luis and South Korea from Min-Ah.

I've also learned a great deal about what journalists in the US take for granted from Vanessa Bauza, a Puerto Rico native who has been living in Cuba for the past four years reporting for the Miami Herald. It is, as one might imagine, an entirely different world there and doing what seems a straightforward job here is rendered infinitely more complex under the auspices of the Cuban government.

In a column she wrote just before coming to Ann Arbor, Vanessa discusses some of the things that have made her job difficult - political sensitivities, government intervention, the absence of freedom of information. It's not at all dissimilar in many ways to the conditions under which Thomas had to work in Rwanda and it makes you realize that the simple act of being able to pick up a phone and call a source - without worrying about who's listening or what consequences it will bring for you and your family - is something we can't just take for granted.

Now, let me get down off my soap box and continue with my tales of intercultural wonder. On Friday, I attended a fantastic session of a workshop sponsored by the U's Ginsberg Center for Community Service & Learning. The overall theme of the workshop was Learning from the Community and my afternoon session was about Listening & Communicating Across Cultural Lines.

The session was facilitated by Rudolfo Altamirano, Director of the International Center, University of Michigan, whose entertaining and endearing style drew us all into a highly interactive discussion about cultural cues. He talked a lot about styles of communication, including non-verbal communication, and it was a pretty applicable talk that got me wondering how our Argentinian, Turkish, Sout Korean, Australian and Rwandan fellows might interpret some of our gestures and habits. Good stuff. I'd like to see him come to the Wallace House to discuss such fascinating differences with the Fellows. (Hint, hint, for those in a position to "murmur" him....)