Just Life

Look out, St. Louis

I forgot to mention a couple of things in my last post. Yes, I know. Hard to believe I could top that. First, while you've been waiting all year, stuffing your spare change away in anticipation of blowing it all at the Urban Knitter's booth at the Women's Support and Community Center Holiday Boutique...the sad news is it's not happening this year. Fear not, however, as the faithful Urban Knitters will not be deterred! This weekend, you'll be able to pick up handmade holiday gifts at a special sale table at Hartford Coffee Company. As usual, all items are donated by local knitters with 100% of the purchase price going to WSCS, which works in our community to treat and prevent domestic violence and sexual assault.

WHAT: Urban Knitters Holiday Sale

WHERE: Hartford Coffee Company, Hartford & Roger, 314.771.JAVA

WHEN: Saturday, Dec. 2, 9:30 am to 1 pm and Sunday, Dec. 3, 6:30 pm to 8:30 pm

Plus, it's not too late to donate items. We can use all the goods we can get! Just email our fearless organizer, November, for more information!

As if that weren't reason enough to come down to Hartford, Amanda & I will be hosting the last Free Candy of the calendar year Sunday night. Amanda sent out an email promising the following so, you know, it must be true:

Free Candy, with Amanda & Julia

Sunday, December 3 @ 7 pm

Hartford Coffee Company, 3974 Hartford (@ Roger)

Free, maturish audience only. 314-772-5947, amanda@freecandy.net

  

For the last show of 2006, St. Louis’ #1 live, non-broadcast, coffeeshop talk show pulls out all the stops (as if we had stops before!), including but not limited to:

  

*Much merriment from co-hosts Amanda Doyle & Julia Smillie

*Insightful, um, insight from our fabulous guests

*The first-ever Free Candy Runway Fashion Show

*Tasteful, toe-taping tunes

*Local holiday shopping opportunity, with goods from Urban Knitters and this month's sponsor, Big Small Town Designs (Don’t buy your Christmas cards ‘til you’ve seen these!)

What's that? It's STILL not enough excitement for you? Sure, you know Thomas Crone as local scribe, one of the hard-working and inspired souls behind 52nd City, erstwhile DJ -- but did you know the cat's a natch with a camera? You'll definitely want to show up early for Free Candy as Hartford debuts a showing of his photography Sunday, Dec. 3 from 5-7 pm.  

 

See you at, well, all of it!

A few random thoughts

I'm supposed to be, at this very minute, reading the screenplay for Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind for tonight's advanced screenwriting class. But first I thought I'd clear out some of the clutter preoccupying my mind. 1. I'm thoroughly enjoying Rupert Everett's book, Red Carpets. He's a truly fine writer and it's so much more than your standard autobiography, providing insider glimpses into the world of theater and celebrity, anecdotes about strange acquaintances in a truly remarkable lifetime, and setting it all within historical contest - a childhood spent with the end of the Empire looming large, coming-of-age in the underground gay bars of London, rebelling as a teen in Paris keeping company with transgendered hookers. It would be the finest form of gossip memoir - namechecking everyone (so far) from Ian McKellan to Andy Warhol to Bob Geldof - were it not elevated by Everett's literary prowess, sly sense of humor and heartachingly keen penchant for detail.

2. I've always been a bit self-conscious here in Ann Arbor, noticing that there don't seem to be any fat people here. I discovered this weekend that they're all at the Meijer in Scio Township where, I can only guess, there are special secret discounts if you weigh in at over 300 pounds.

3. No matter how many times I try to figure out how this story happened, I can't. I can barely fit my hand or, say, a cat behind any of our bookcases, let alone a relative. Believe me, I've tried.

And that said, it's obviously time I return to doing something productive.

Happy Thanksgiving!

I'm sneaking my "holiday" wishes in just under the wire here, but I wanted to make sure to acknowledge this important day of giving thanks. I particularly appreciate Thanksgiving, because it basically means I get to be ungrateful for the next 364 days. In a row! Now, that's worth celebrating! Actually, Thanksgiving isn't a particularly big deal for me. Being from Scotland, we didn't celebrate it for the first decade of my life -- it's more of a touchy subject in the British Isles, that whole "colonies" issue -- so I don't have any sentimental attachment to it. For the past several years, Chris has always had to work the day after Thanksgiving, so we couldn't go anywhere to be with family. Thus, we developed our own sort of non-Thanksgiving tradition, often gathering with other holiday orphans and heading out for Indian food. (We know, the wrong sort of Indians, but it's the thought that counts, right?) In keeping with that tradition, we went out with our friends Fara and Paul for a nice evening meal, then came back here and chatted and laughed for a good two hours, in a warm house with music playing and a few candles for ambience.

This sort of thing has become become our anti-holiday precursor to the holidays. No rushing about. No food to prepare, no guests to entertain, no pressure or expectations. No travel, no exhaustion and, usually, no overeating. (Or, not much overeating.) It's not a surprise, then, that Thanksgiving has actually become one of our favorite holidays.

When you try very consciously to live your everyday life in a place of gratitude, the idea of one day dedicated to pausing to count your blessings seems...woefully inadequate. How meaningful is it if I say I'm grateful because Hallmark and Butterball say I should be? That said, a little nudge towards gratitude can't hurt, right? After all, Chris and I have both been feeling sick ever since we got back from Scotland and I've been feeling under some academic/career/life pressure -- it's a perfect time for me to feel beautifully sorry for myself.

However, I woke up this morning at a ridiculously early hour, exhausted but unable to go back to sleep, feeling generally blechy and, at the same time, filled with this indescribable sense of gratitude. As I padded my way to the kitchen to make a pot of what turned out to be truly lousy coffee, a thought struck me so absolutely clearly. It was this: all my needs are met.

And it's true. All my needs are met today. I tend to forget that. The problems I have are luxury problems. That doesn't mean they're not real or challenging to me, just that I need to keep them in perspective. I have a roof over my head. Plenty of food in my pantry. I have more things and stuff than a person needs. I have an education and freedom and opportunity stretched in front of me. I have indoor plumbing, for God's sake. I wish I could live in a place, all the time, when I always remember so clearly and strongly how fortunate I am for my place in the world. If I did, I'd probably give Mother Theresa a run for her money. Unfortunately, I also have a healthy ego, a tremendous capacity for self-pity and self-absorption and it's all quite, quite understandable given the world I live in.

I'm just saying that this morning, I padded back to bed with a mug of hot coffee and crawled under the covers, next to my sleeping husband. I had a good book in my lap, two kitties curled up on the bed and a day stretched in front of me with little or no obligation. In other words, it was one of those moments where it was plain to see that, yes, all my needs really are met.

Now comes the tricky part: let's see if I remember it tomorrow.

 

The longest travel day ever

It probably wouldn't take much detective work (probably wouldn't require leaving this very blog) to find my making that claim on previous occasions - Istanbul or Argentina, anyone? But really. We've just arrived home in Ann Arbor after rising at 3 am Glasgow time to head to the airport for an early morning flight to Amsterdam, then dally and deal with protocol for a while before boarding an extra-long flight (thank you turbulence over Greenland!) to arrive home nearly 19 hours after we started out. It's at times like this that I swear I'll never ever leave my comfy chair again to go abroad. That should last about five days before I start daydreaming about the next trip. It's not that I didn't enjoy my trip, it's just that traveling abroad seems such hard work at times. A luxury complaint, I realize.

The thing about going back to Glasgow is that it's different from a proper holiday, like escaping to the rainforest to unplug and decompress for days. It's a decidedly good thing and one I enjoy, but returning to one's childhood home is a relentlessly nostalgic process. Virtually every building, park, street, shop inspires a memory, a contrast, a confusion, even, about the notion of home and identity. I walked past a bush on Hyndland Road yesterday and automatically reached out to pluck a green mottled leaf from a bush, bending its waxy surface until it split neatly into two, then four, and so on. It wasn't until the pile was in my hand that I even realized that I had done it -- and that it's what I used to do, as a child, passing that very bush (or perhaps a cousin thereof) on the way to my Grandma and Grandpa Smillie's flat.

My childhood is everywhere there - in the particular light of a rainy November afternoon, in the floury smell of fresh-baked rolls wafting from Gregg's bakery on Byres Road, in the warmth from my Grandma Pringle's electric fire. And when I'm there, the talk - inevitably - turns to my mother, over and over again. Which is good. Which is right. It's largely why I'm there, to keep those precious connections open with her side of the family. But it takes something out of me, weighs every joy with an equal amount of melancholy.

On top of all of that, I get to rediscover Glasgow as an adult. As a child, my world there was small and there's so much more to the city now. Nor was I likely to appreciate the architectural masterpieces the city has to offer, from its trademark Victorian sandstone tenements to the infamous Charles Rennie Mackintosh design of the Glagow School of Art to the shocking ultra-modern "shell" of the armadillo conference center. Glasgow is a city of contrasts, a world-class city that somehow still feels like a small village, where the steeples of medieval churches and industrial smokestacks on the river bank share the skyline.

I used to say that I was going home when I went to Glasgow. Somewhere along the road, that changed - and I'm not entirely sure how I feel about it. The Scots would sigh and wave a hand at my sentimentality, urging me to pull up my bootstraps and soldier on. I guess it proves where my home really is that the American in me wants to wallow in it a bit more, thinking about The Meaning of it all and wonder Who I Am.

But maybe not tonight. Tonight I'll just draw myself a bath and climb inside my own tub, keeping the reheats coming until the hot water gives out. Then I'll struggle to stay awake until the earliest hour I can possibly crawl into my bed with my sheets and my kitties. And I'll be home.

I want to blog!

I do! I want to catch everyone up on the excitement that is our Ann Arbor lives. I want to tell you about the workshops I've been teaching at 826 Michigan, how much I'm learning about what I do (and don't) like about the process. I want to tell you of the mad scramble to pull together the massive amount of crap necessary to apply to graduate school and how scary and old and unprepared it's making me feel. I want to express my frustration with rewriting my screenplay, how the more I learn, the less I'm sure I know and my confidence wanes daily in my ability to produce. I'd love to tell you how our dear friend Denise came to visit last weekend and how much fun we had tooling around town and how we even learned about cheese- and gelato-making at the Zingerman's Creamery tour. I want to tell you how crazy it has been getting to know the process of editing my first foray as editor of the Knight-Wallace Fellowship newsletter.

I want to chatter on about the Dem's recent victories, the suspiciously-timed ouster of Donald Rumsfeld and why that isn't a perpetual headline when Britney and K-Fed's divorce is. I want to tell you how bummed I was to be too busy to go see Shawn Colvin last night but how surprised and impressed I was when I finally made myself watch Flight 93, as recommended by my screenwriting teacher.

I want to tell you how we're leaving Friday for a quick five-day stop in Glasgow to visit family and friends and how excited I am. But I can't. Because there are transcripts to call for, lesson plans to figure out, student works to read, screenplays to peruse, revisions to make, layouts to proof. There are meetings to attend, hairs to be dyed, luggage to be dragged out of the basement. There are letters of recommendation to be begged for, hats to be finished for Tibetan orphans, travel arrangements to be made, guests to be arranged for December's Free Candy.

So for now, you'll just have to wait. And I will just have to breathe.

Gratitude, even before the fact

Stephannie sent me this beautiful picture this morning, to forward on to all of you who have been so generous in offering to help the girls at the orphanage/school in Tibet. There's one big box of hand-knit goodies on its way from St. Louis (thanks to the organizational skill of master knitter Margaret O'Connor) and I'll have another in the mail within a week or so, filled with hats and other goodies from knitters here in Ann Arbor. Stephannie's promised us more shots of the girls modeling their gifts as soon as they arrive.

I can't stress enough, too, how much they still need your help. So if you're no whiz with a knitting needle, please remember that you can donate money to Stephannie via PayPal using her email address zangthal@mac.com. Easy as pie! And considering they're currently digging up cash to buy mittens for all the girls, which are $1.40 per pair, you can see how parting with ten bucks seriously helps out.

The first snow fall

 

For a few minutes there, it took over everything. Big, soft wet flakes flurried from the sky, nesting in my hair, coating my scarf, blurring my vision as they landed on my eyelashes. There I was, tromping along Main Street after a nice lunch with a new friend, woefully under-bundled for the sudden onslaught of winter - a giant grin spread across my face.

Ask me how I feel in January, but there are few things on earth that make me smile as broadly as the sight of snow tumbling from the skies. No matter how old I get, how many times around the bend I've been, there's something about snow that brings all the good childhood feelings bubbling irrepressably to the surface.

Now, it's cleared up again, but there are still a swirl of tiny flakes, disappearing as they hit the damp ground. I've got a window seat at Sweetwaters Cafe and a lovely big latte. All's right with the world.

I swear, it wasn't me!

Right on the heels of some people called the Cardinals winning something called the World Series, poor St. Louis takes a hit today by being named the most dangerous city in the United States. Good thing we moved, right? Wrong! Number two on the list is Detroit, the nearest major metropolis to our cozy fairytale low-crime zone of Ann Arbor.

Which has me thinking - maybe it's us. Maybe it's Chris and me. Maybe while we think we're sleeping, we're out committing dozens and dozens of murders and other, you know, crimes and stuff. It would certainly explain why I wake up tired so many mornings.

One emperor down, one monarch still goin' strong

On July 29, 1981, I arose well before dawn. I was ten years old and bleary-eyed I climbed on the couch next to my mother and my sister to watch the wedding of Lady Diana Spencer to the Prince of Wales. As British subjects, living at the time in Louisville, there was no way I'd miss out on seeing the fantasy come true, a real life princess and a fairy tale wedding. I remember the morning vividly. Sixteen years later, I stayed up late on the evening of August 31, 1997 when the news of her car accident broke on late night television. My sister awoke me with a phone call early the next morning. "Diana's dead," she said.

It probably seems strange and maybe even a bit like hokum to people in the States, to know how moved I was by both Diana's marriage and, in turn, her death. When you grow up with the monarchy, especially, I think, as a little girl, there's something magical and resplendant about the whole thing.

Thus, I was really moved by parts of the film The Queen, which I saw this afternoon at the Michigan Theater. It details the life of Queen Elizabeth II and brand new Prime Minister Tony Blair in the week following the death of Diana. It's a good movie, with Helen Mirren doing a spot-on job of playing the monarch and a handful of other fine performances by a whole host of vaguely-familiar-looking Brit thespians.

Yesterday, we saw another performance by Brit thespians, although our nosebleed section seats made it difficult to say if they were vaguely-familiar-looking. We had next-to-last-row balcony seats for the Saturday matinee of Julius Caesar, as performed by the Royal Shakespeare Company at the Power Center.

Now, I can't say for sure how things seemed down in the fancy people seats, but from where we were sitting, the performance was absolutely...mediocre. Which isn't what I was expecting at all. Granted, perhaps it was altitude sickness or my own idiocy, but I just wasn't blown away. Decent Cassius and Brutus, which helps, and the Caesar was good. But the Mark Antony was very yell-y. And I don't think Shakespeare would have appreciated that very much. No writer would. In fact, since I like to draw comparisons between me and The Bard, please don't yell this blog posting out loud.

So there you have it. Julius Caesar, thumbs down. The Queen, thumbs up. And bear in mind that you can see The Queen ten times for the price of a ticket to Julius Caesar. Although that would just be silly.

Anyhoo, these performances were both in honor of my father and my step-Marvin (his wife, Marilyn...long story), who are in town for a couple of days. Friday night we dined at home and it turns out our stove does work! Who knew? Then we headed up to Zingerman's for dessert and Dad got to spend a birthday gift certificate at the cheese counter, stocking up on roquefort, stilton and a giant lovely wedge of parmesan cheese.

Saturday was perfectly horrible, weather wise - cold, rainy and with a biting wind. Any hopes I'd had of wandering around town and showing things off were dashed. We did duck into Cafe Zola for brunch, where I had the most glorious little concoction called a cafe borgia - an espresso with a dollop of whipped cream and a grate of orange zest. Our breakfast was, of course, fantastic - their omelettes and crepes are to die for. But the place is ridiculously loud when busy and it really takes the charm out of a meal to have to holler across the table. Hey, a thought just occurred to me: maybe Mark Antony ate breakfast there!

Dad and Marvin were knackered Saturday evening and stayed home while we headed out for dinner with some of our '06 fellows who were in town. We had a bang-up Indian meal (which my father refers to as a "bum burner") at Shalimar on Main Street with Rainey, Graham, Drew, Sally, Birgit and, at the end, Bacon. I had such a terrific time catching up with everyone but it wasn't, of course, enough time and it does tend to highlight how much I miss everyone and wish we'd gotten that whole Fellowship commune going instead of splitting and going our separate ways.

This morning, we went to a brunch at Wallace House hosted by the class of '07 to celebrate our Thomas Kamilindi's political asylum. It was a really nice affair, although it's strange to be back in the house and be an outsider, sort of. Plus, there were enough '06-ers to really confuse matters!

It was beautiful this afternoon, so we did a little popping in and out of Main Street shops and then, before the movie, hit the fish counter at Kerrytown and picked up some things for dinner. We then met Rainey and Graham at Z's for some coffee and too many slices of cake and then it was off to the theater.

Now, we've got a fire in the fireplace. Marvin's zonked out on the couch and, as a portrait of the close modern family, Chris, my dad and I are each sitting silently and wirelessly interneting. It feels like a Sunday night. There's a bath in my not too distant future and maybe hope of an early night's sleep. It has, all things considered, been a good weekend.

I don't usually invite comments

Why risk it, you know? But in this case, I encourage all of my faithful readers to register to comment on my blog. It should (I hope) work much more flawlessly than Movable Type, so I guess now I just need to write something comment-worthy, eh? You will be glad to know that I resolved my bedskirt issue. Ikea has a Queen/King size one for $19.99 and, no, that is not expensive. Of course, it wound up costing me far more than that when you take into account all the extra crap that made it into my cart while I was there. Can't. Help. It.

Chris and I were up late last night doing the technical duty on getting his newest Sharesleuth.com investigative piece up on the web. It's a long read but it's a great story and represents months of hard-core investigation on the man's part.

And now we're running around frantically trying to straighten up the place. This weekend is a riot of guests. My dad and his wife Marvin (really it's Marilyn, but I like to call her Marvin) are coming in tomorrow afternoon. It's their first visit to Ann Arbor and I think it's going to be right up their alley. All my dad needs to be entertained is a coffee shop and a book store, and we gots loads of them.

Plus, former fellowship couples Graham & Rainey and Drew & Sally are coming in (from Boston and DC, respectively) and I'm very excited to see all of them. Plus, Sunday we'll venture back to the Wallace House in the morning for a brunch the class of '07 is throwing to celebrate the fact that our classmate Thomas Kamilindi has been granted political asylum by the United States. (You might remember the post I wrote last year about Thomas' experiences with the genocide in Rwanda.)

Oh! And the Royal Shakespeare Company is in town and we've got tickets to a Saturday matinee of Julius Caesar. Don't tell me the ending! I want to be surprised. I read it in high school and simply do not recall the part where he invents that salad. But boy am I glad he did! And Chris, apparently anticipating the same demise in caliber of theater audiences as movie audiences, plans to yell out, "Ooooo, don't go near Brutus! Nuh-uh!" during key moments.

Also, it will be daylight savings time. At some point. Which all sounds like plenty to keep us busy, don't you think?

Charity for lazy people

So I've been meaning to send my friend Stephannie a small check to help out the girls at the Tibetan Orphanage (see post below, complete with beautiful and eager smiling faces.) But I'm one of those people for whom writing a check and getting it in the mail is a giant undertaking. Thus, I was thrilled to find out that we (that's me and you) can donate to the girls using PayPal. If you have a PayPal account, you can send money -- and remember, when they say $5 or $10 goes a long way in Tibet, they ain't kidding -- securely via PayPal using Stephannie's email address, zangthal@mac.com. The coolest part was when I made a modest contribution yesterday and got an email from Steph saying that she was going to use it to buy socks and some other supplies for the girls. Socks! How often do you get to know exactly how your contribution is affecting the lives of people? Not often, is the answer.

And now I'll stop talking about Tibetan orphans. For now, anyway.

I'm back!

I've done it! I think. After a week or so of struggling with Movable Type (which was my blog software) and phpBB2 (which was my forums software) and my hosting company (which was GoDaddy), I've managed to make some big changes. But not after nearly an entire week lost to computer problems and hair-tearing. That means some changes. You're witnessing the first one, which is that I've switched to Wordpress for my blog. It's not nearly as flexible, not nearly as pretty but, man, it's easy to install and manage and I've just run out of time and patience for managing MT. Until I'm a gabazillionaire and have my own IT department, it's going to have to do. (When I get some time, I'm going to play around with templates and see if we can't get it to look less like a sixth-grade HTML project, etc.) I think I've made the transition pretty well, losing only a couple of entries during the import stage. Nothing important, of course.

It also means that, after much consideration, I've done away with the reader forums. You guys were so great and loyal in keeping them going for five years but, let's face it -- activity had dwindled a lot in the last year. It made sense to have an online gathering place while I was posting a weekly column that drove traffic to the site. But for right now that's not happening, so it no longer justified the amount of time I spent trying to manage and maintain it. I hope you understand. I can't thank you guys enough for your continued readership and support.

If I've done things right, though, then you should actually be able to comment freely on this blog without any trouble - another kink I hope to have solved moving to Wordpress. So I expect all you Usual Suspects to keep in touch that way.

Thanks to all of you for your patience!

Saturday at Market

101406-06 I would have posted lovely pictures of the Farmer's Market on Saturday, when I took them, except that I have been largely unable to access my blog the past few days. Users of my forums have noted that things are moving painfully slowly there and, similarly, it's proving infuriating to try to log into my Movable Type account to blog, let alone actually post something.

My hosting service, GoDaddy, swears it's not something they can replicate in Technical Support Land and is, therefore, a figment of my imagination and/or something I'll just have to figure out how to fix. Problem is, I have no idea what the problem is. Thus, no idea to fix it. Not that I'm frustrated or anything. It's hard being your own IT department. I'm having an amazing and challenging and frustrating time working on rewriting my screenplay. It's tough to have written a full-length feature script and then to have to dissect it and piece it back together or change it according to the rules of drama and structure and voice and timing... I'm devouring scripts right now (You Can Count on Me, Good Will Hunting, Thelma & Louise, Silence of the Lambs) and watching movies (American Beauty, Witness, Chinatown) to try to absorb some knowledge, some idea of how to piece a story together for maximum dramatic impact. And as with so many things in life, the more I see, the less I think I know.

Of course, lately I've been feeling a lot like someone who just doesn't Get It. For example, I recently skimmed through James Frey's controversial psuedo-memoir A Million Little Pieces. I found a dollar copy somewhere and thought I'd check out what the fuss was all about. Given the blurbs on the jacket, my expectations were pretty high going in and by the time I had waded through as much of it as I could, I closed the book in frustration and thought, "I don't get it."

All debates about reality and memoir aside, I found the writing style to be virtually impenetrable, a repetitive sea of monotonous observations that pained me to work through. If you're writing a novel and your main character is a brash, unlikable egotist who changes little throughout the course of the book, you've got a problem on your hands. If you're writ

Saturday at Market

101406-06 I would have posted lovely pictures of the Farmer's Market on Saturday, when I took them, except that I have been largely unable to access my blog the past few days. Users of my forums have noted that things are moving painfully slowly there and, similarly, it's proving infuriating to try to log into my Movable Type account to blog, let alone actually post something.

My hosting service, GoDaddy, swears it's not something they can replicate in Technical Support Land and is, therefore, a figment of my imagination and/or something I'll just have to figure out how to fix. Problem is, I have no idea what the problem is. Thus, no idea to fix it. Not that I'm frustrated or anything. It's hard being your own IT department.

All that aside, it was a lovely day at Market and I've a Flickr slideshow with more colorful fall photos by clicking here.

I'm prepping (or not prepping) right now for the third week of the six-week workshop I'm teaching at 826 Michigan on Tuesday nights. It's called "Push-Ups for Budding Auteurs" and it's aimed at giving kids who love to write an hour to flex their creative muscles through guided writing exercises and prompts. I've got an amazing group of about ten kids, ranging in age from 10 to 14, with a wide variety of interests and abilities. And some truly awesome minds. They just love to write. I'm having an amazing and challenging and frustrating time working on rewriting my screenplay. It's tough to have written a full-length feature script and then to have to dissect it and piece it back together or change it according to the rules of drama and structure and voice and timing... I'm devouring scripts right now (You Can Count on Me, Good Will Hunting, Thelma & Louise, Silence of the Lambs) and watching movies (American Beauty, Witness, Chinatown) to try to absorb some knowledge, some idea of how to piece a story together for maximum dramatic impact. And as with so many things in life, the more I see, the less I think I know.

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Of course, lately I've been feeling a lot like someone who just doesn%